Developing ideas in writing could you please check this sentence (IELTS AC)

[Samy]

Developing ideas in writing could you please check this sentence for me …. (IELTS Academic)

Read the task question below. Make a note of any ways you can think of to make history more interesting

Question:

Some Children find learning history at a school very exciting, but many others thinks it is very boring, in what ways can history be brought to life for all school children?

“ They could visit historical place such as castles , archeological sites or even museums as result they will be able to understand more about history , furthermore, it is good idea teacher encourage children to research their own family history or ask them to do project work historical period or figure who interest them “

[Beeesneees]

They could visit historical place such as castles, archaeological sites or even museums. As a result they will be able to understand more about history. Furthermore, it is good idea for the teacher to encourage children to research their own family history or ask them to do project work based around a(n)* historical period of interest or a figure who interests them.

* a or an is contested. Traditionally British English would use 'an, while Americans were more likely to use 'a'.
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Cheers m' dears!

[Samy]

Thank you Madam for correcting my sentence , however I am trying to learn how to use trigger words in a sentence such as - and - consequently - and so - since - for instance - therefore - in order to - if – furthermore - as a result - for example these would enable me to improve my writing skill btw I wish I knew more about them

[Beeesneees]

Hi Samy,

I think you need to focus on the articles and prepositions first. Just taking a snippet from your writing, you missed three:
It is A good idea FOR the teacher TO encourage...
Although these words are small and seemingly insignificant, they provide the flow for the keywords.

Trigger words are useful 'hooks' on which you can structure your ideas, I agree. A word of warning though: if you over use them, your writing sounds false and foreign to a native English speaker's ear... so use them well but use them wisely. Don't add them for the sake of it.
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Cheers m' dears!

[Samy]

Thank you so much for the advice and giving solution, I will try to keep them in mind , by the way I have a problem for example when I want to start to write something in English language I first use my mother language then translate it in my mind then write it in English language , I think it is wrong way so better I have to think in English and write in English but I don’t know how to solve this problem :)

[Samy]

Could you please check this text for me …..

" Another method for encouraging children to sudsy history is by using internet for example to ask them to search for information about historical figures online this will lead them it increase their motivation to do research . however, The best way for helping them to learn history is probably to involve children in doing writing project such as make a poster about local history sites , as a result this skills can be applied in other subjects furthermore last but not least children could visit a local archeological site as result the historical places will come to see more real …… "

[Beeesneees]

Another method of encouraging children to study history is by using the Internet. For example, one could ask them to search for information about historical figures online which will increase their motivation to do research. However, the best way of helping them to learn history probably involves children in a writing project, such as making a poster about local history sites. The skills they learn can then be applied in other subjects. Last , but not least, children could visit a local archaeological sites as a result of which historical places will seem more 'real'.

Too many trigger words, just as I warned.
I'm not convinced by the order of our argument either, but I'm only correcting the grammar.
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Cheers m' dears!

[Samy]

Thank you so much Beeesneees for helping me in learning English language :)

[Samy]

Could you please check this text for me … Are these sentences grammatically correct ?

Question:

From your knowledge, write a short paragraph to descript each of the process below. Here are some examples

A - The process of digital photography from the action of taking a photograph to displaying the image

Answer:

When the view or subject of photo is selected then camera is prepared after that the photo is taken, following photo is transferred in to the Pc and at the next stage photos are edited and printed
B - The progress of a letter pr parcel from packaging to delivery
Answer:

After the letter is written, it is putted in an envelope then postage stamp is attached and the envelope is sent, following it is collected by a postman from mailbox and delivered to the final destination
C- The life cycle of an animal such as butterfly or a frog

For example butterfly

Once butterfly eggs are produced, then after sometimes these eggs are became caterpillar and it is matured through series of stages when the caterpillar is fully grown, it is transforms into as pupa when pupa has finished changing, butterfly is born through metamorphosis

D- The water cycle which creates clouds and rainfall?

Answer :

The sun radiation heats up the sea surface ,lakes or moist land then the water is evaporated as result it changes into gas this gas is floated in the air , clouds are made when it is cooled down consequently rain falls

[Beeesneees]

[Samy]

Thank you for pointing out my mistakes, I agree with you that it is necessary to focus on correct use of the articles and on basic punctuation so I will do my best :)

[Samy]

Excuse me What does “ …….MIXES WITH the air UNTIL clouds OF DUST …. “ mean ?

[Beeesneees]

It doesn't mean anything when you take it out of the sentence like that! You are splitting the phrases in the wrong place.

This gas (water vapour) / mixes with the air / until clouds of dust, water vapour and other gases / are formed.

The clouds are formed from a combination of dust and water vapour and other gases.
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Cheers m' dears!

[Samy]

I need reading test ….

[Samy]

Time Clauses
==========================

By the time I was 15, I realized that I was not child anymore

Until I started working part time, I had never saved any money

The moment I got my first paycheck, I began to understand the value of money

As soon as I left home, I had learned how to take care of myself

Once I started sharing an apartment, I learned how to get along better with people

After I began a relationship, I learned how to get along better with people

Before I traveled abroad, I didn’t appreciate my own country

Until I got really sick, I hadn’t understand the importance of good health