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single-sex schools vs co-educational schools



 
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my second essay. Please evaluate it... | Please correct and rate my essay. Thank you! :)
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single-sex schools vs co-educational schools #1 (permalink) Tue May 10, 2011 2:01 am   single-sex schools vs co-educational schools
 

Hello
I am new here and I'm studying IELTS
I found this site by chance and I find it is really helpful!
This is my first essay and I wonder if anyone could give me a comment about this.
Thank you very much for your advice.

Many parents are confused as to whether or not they should send their children to co-educational or single-sex schools. Compare and contrast the benefits and disadvantages of those two institutions.

It is true that with a considerable increase of competiveness among educational atmosphere, many parents curious if they should send their children to co-educational schools or single-sex schools. In this essay, I will examine an argument of benefits and drawbacks by sending co-educational and single-sex school.

On the one hand, there are some advantages from the attending of co-educational schools. Firstly they can acquire such social-skills and which is very valuable and important to learn since males and females are different in way of thinking, expressing their emotion or feeling. It they can learn this essential skill then know how to approach each other less conflicts will be occurred when they work together in future. However even though this advantage form their goals which is studying hard since they may spend more time to be looked good, in order words their appearances.

On the other hand, students in single-sex schools are boast, in general, better grades in many competition and examination. In fact, in my hometown, for instance, high top 5 schools were all single-sex schools and it often becomes issued that co-educational school send letters towards parents to convince the rare benefits of attending their schools in order to prevent these students from moving other schools since original purpose of attending school is learning skills that they need for either enrolling a university of getting a secure job, single-sex schools seems, in a certain point, more beneficial than that of co-educational schools.

To sum up, like every coin has two sides, attending either single sex schools or co-educational school has advantages and downsides. As a result, parents should consider their children’s enthusiasm, goals, and interest in order to provide the best educational ambience.

TOEFL listening lectures: Which event or development did not strongly influence the history of bread?
Nursejuno
I'm new here and I like it ;-)


Joined: 08 May 2011
Posts: 12
Location: South Korea

single-sex schools vs co-educational schools #2 (permalink) Tue May 10, 2011 11:42 am   single-sex schools vs co-educational schools
 

It is true that with a considerable increase of competiveness among educational atmosphere, many parents ARE curious if they should send their children to co-educational schools or single-sex schools. In this essay, I will examine an argument of benefits and drawbacks by sending CHILDREN TO co-educational and single-GENDER schoolS.

On the one hand, there are some advantages from the attending of co-educational schools. Firstly they can acquire such social-skills, which ARE very valuable and important to learn since males and females are different in way of thinking, expressing their emotionS or feelingS. It they can learn this essential skill then THEY WILL know how to approach each other AND less conflicts will be occurred when they work together in future. However even though this advantage MIGHT DRIVE THEM AWAY form their goals which is studying hard since they may spend more time to be lookING good, in oTHEr words theY WILL WORK HARD AT KEEPING THEIR appearances.

On the other hand, students in single-sex schools are bEst, in general, better grades in many competition and examination. In fact, in my hometown, for instance, high top 5 schools were all single-sex schools and it often becomes AN issue that co-educational school send letters towards parents to convince the rare benefits of attending their schools in order to prevent these students from moving TO other schools since original purpose of attending school is learning skills that they need for either enrolling IN a university oR getting a secure job, single-sex schools seems, TO a certain point, more beneficial than that of co-educational schools. {SUCH A LONG SENTENCE WITH NO BREAKS WHAT SO EVER!!]

To sum up, like every coin has two sides, attending either single sex schools or co-educational school has advantages and downsides. As a result, parents should consider their children’s enthusiasm, goals, and interest in order to provide the best educational ambience.

_________________
You need to work really very hard at reading and listening. According to Ilets I think this essay is worth 2/5.
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Katty2010
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Joined: 16 Apr 2010
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single-sex schools vs co-educational schools #3 (permalink) Wed May 11, 2011 4:33 am   single-sex schools vs co-educational schools
 

First of all, I really appreciate for your correction more than ever.
Secondly, I think you are absolutely right about my essay however, I found it difficult to finish my essay within 40min (it allways takes me about 5 more minutes) thus now I am focusing on a quantity rather than a quality.
I am very sure that I will keep make mistakes perhaps repeatedly, but I am sure through this procedure I can show you some improvements.

Again, Thank you a lot for your time and correction.

I know that the improvement is only possible with your (or who dedicate their valuable time for us) help
Nursejuno
I'm new here and I like it ;-)


Joined: 08 May 2011
Posts: 12
Location: South Korea

single-sex schools vs co-educational schools #4 (permalink) Wed May 11, 2011 12:07 pm   single-sex schools vs co-educational schools
 

Nursejuno, if you are giving IBT, then you have to finish writing in 20 minutes. Please try to practice doing that. You can follow the following procedure.

1- First write introduction, which should include topic, and your point of view. This should not be of more than 2-3 sentences.
2- Write conclusion, stating above topic and your preference. 2 lines max.
3- Now start writing body of your essay. Write first reason, explaination, and an example. Then state second reason, expalination and example and third if there is one.

Goodluck! :)
_________________
Just a confused kid... trying to live through twists & turns of life!
------
Everything Is Temporary!
Katty2010
I'm here quite often ;-)


Joined: 16 Apr 2010
Posts: 964
Location: GaintPeach

single-sex schools vs co-educational schools #5 (permalink) Mon May 16, 2011 0:05 am   single-sex schools vs co-educational schools
 

First of all, Thank Katty2010
I am not taking TOEFL, hence I hadn't got any idea about TOEFL essay. However, since I got your advice I looked for TOEFL essay then... WOW!

write about 400 words within 30minutes seems literally impossible!!!
People in here are so awsome compared with me.

I will try to write essaies keeping your advice in mind.
Thank you again!
Nursejuno
I'm new here and I like it ;-)


Joined: 08 May 2011
Posts: 12
Location: South Korea

single-sex schools vs co-educational schools #6 (permalink) Tue Mar 19, 2013 19:43 pm   single-sex schools vs co-educational schools
 

Oh, hi ,everyone! There were some right thoughts about single-sex and co-educational schools. However, they are cntroversial and there can be a lot of argues about them.
To my mind, a normal development of a person is in a co-educational school. A child should study in a co-educational school for some first years. After it, he should decide where he wants to study in himself.
I repeat, that it is the normal development(Of course, it is my opinion.). However, during all the time, parents want to save their children from different dangers and we understand why it is so. Because of these fact, a great number of children can't make ecisions themselves, but it is another topic. Children are under the influence of their parents and it is normal. We can't fully exclude their opinion.(To be honest, their opinion will be decesive.)
So the choosing of the school is depend on different spheres of life, different opinions, experience and etc. I have no time more, so I must sum up this. Every situation is different and we can't say properly what is better to a concrete person/child. So everyone should make his own decision, but to my mind a co-educational school helps to prepare children for real life.
Andrew1232011
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Joined: 19 Mar 2013
Posts: 1

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