The poor should be always aided by the society.

[Glo728119]

The poor should be always aided by the society.

Social Bipolarization is getting steeper both nationally and internationally. Some people think that such inequality is unjustifiable and a government needs to help the poor. However, I disagree to the statement that “the poor should be always aided by the society”. Helping the poor all the times will prevent them from being them independent. Furthermore, the poor have their own responsibility to overcome their economic problems.
First of all, if the poor are always aided by the society, the poor will be more dependent on the society. Once the poor start to receive an aid from the society, they are going to rely more upon it instead of trying to solve their own problems. Without being aided by the society, they would not be able to fight against poverty by themselves and get stuck in a poverty trap. Therefore, in the long run, the vicious cycle of poverty will continue to go on so helping the poor all the times is not a win-win game for both of the society and the poor.
Second of all, the poor have an individual responsibility to solve their own economic problems. There are many factors of poverty but it is usually caused by individual’s fault. Since equal opportunities and basic rights are given to all people in democratic nations, people can get out of poverty on their own if they put more effort in working with a strong will. Therefore, there is nothing wrong with social bipolarization in the society and the poor need to solve their own economic problems unless they are living under abject poverty
In conclusion, the poor will be more dependent of the society if they are aided by it all the times. Furthermore, the poor need to solve their own economic problems since they are usually caused by individual’s fault. Therefore, the society does not need to help the poor all the times.

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between two students in their dormitory during registration week

[Luschen]

Hi, I am not a teacher, but as a native speaker I would be happy to make some comments on your essay. You have done a fine job. Your essay is well reasoned and includes some good vocabulary. You have repeated several phrases such as "all the time". Try to use some synonyms for these words and phrases (for instance, constantly, unceasingly, endlessly, etc) to make your essay sound more fresh.