Please look and give me a comment! Pros and cons of Travel across the world

[Nursejuno]

First of all, thank you for your valuable time.
I am preparing IELTS exam and I write an essay.
Would you kindly correct any error you see or could you please let me know if there are grammatical errors?
Any comment will be welcome!

Question.
Many people are encouraged to travel experience the cultures and traditions of other countries. What do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of traveling to other countries? Discuss and give relevant examples of explanation.

Answer.
Nowadays, with unprecedented development of technology and cheap air fairs, people travel across the world in the way never has been before. Thus, some naysayers maintain that it has no worth of going, but only a detriment. While advocates, include myself, claim that the benefits of going to travel are such priceless.

There are considerable advantages one can gain from the travel across the world. First, one can learn not only language, but also culture of the country they travel. Although it often leads to a heated debate, learning a language in the country that is mainly spoken has such great benefits. Especially, when it comes to with cultural background, it certainly helps one learn the language much efficiently and effectively. Apart from that, one can make many friends through traveling across the world. In other words, one can build up stable social networking with the local people. These human resources will help his or her business in the future.

On the other hand, like every coin has two sides, it has a few negative effects of traveling overseas.
Firstly, it may cost a lot to go abroad. Even though it is true that the cost of airline tickets is relatively affordable, it is still expensive for many people. In addition, most of the individual has no accommodation. On the top of that, they will have to buy almost everything since it is utterly a new place for them. Besides, there are many risks for travelers because they do not know and get used to the local location yet. They may encounter some unintended accidents.

In summary, it seems reasonable to say that there are both benefits and drawbacks. In my opinion, the positive consequences of the traveling far outweigh that of the downsides. However, individual should be allowed to decide their own choices depends on their circumferences.

TOEFL listening discussions: What will the student try to do with his next essay?

[Luschen]

Hi, please see my corrections below. I think you are doing well - good luck on the test.

[Nursejuno]

Dear Luschen.
I am really appreciate your correction and comment.
Your help aid my essay more prosperous. Without your help I will never know FAT people can not make more choices ;) (how embarrassing!)

I will keep your advice and try not to make same errors again.
Thank you again. sincerely.