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#2 (permalink) Thu May 19, 2011 20:49 pm Re: When people succeed in life, it is because of hard work. Being lucky has noth |
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Hi, you have written a pretty good essay. There were a couple sentences I did not understand at all. Watch out for your usage of articles - they can be tricky.
| Dips wrote: |
Dear all, please grade my essay. I will be really thankful to you.
Thanks.
TOPIC : "When people succeed in life, it is because of hard work. Being lucky has nothing to do with success in life." Do you agree or disagree with the quotation above? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your position.
Some people believe in luck [while] some people believe in hard work. But one thing is sure[:] that luck can change people life{people's lives} but it’s also true that not all people are lucky.{These are two things that are sure - try rewriting the sentence} In contrast, if all people do hard work to get something there is [a] probability that they might face failure [the] first time but surely [the] next time they will definitely reach there[their] aim. I personally believe in hard work. Not every time luck will {"... time will luck be .." sounds better} be on your side. There are some chances{There is a chance} that some time someone will get [a] good opportunity by luck but luck will not going to help you your whole life. {Or "but luck will not always be there to help you"} I strongly agree with the statement that people are succeed in life is because of their hard work. [Only] People who did or will do hard work can only have true smell of success.{Only people who do hard work can truly smell success}. My examples and reasons below will strengthen my point of view. {I would leave out this last sentence, your previous one was a better thesis statement}
To begin with, many people believe in luck. If someone misses good opportunity (for example, about [a] job){leave out the parenthesis} they thinks I am not lucky {use quotes around "I am not lucky"}. But{try not to start sentences with and or but} they never thought[think] why [the] opportunity is not in their hand?{no question mark - entire sentence is declarative}. In which area they need to improve next time to not lose good opportunity. {not a complete sentence} Instead hardworking people think, I think I am not given my best this time but I will definitely improve [my] skill and will do best[better] next time.{use quotes around this statement} There is no guarantee that lucky person will be successful in life but yes, hardworking people definitely reach success in some time.
Secondly, as I said only [the] hardworking person will know [the] true smell of success. For instance, [a] person who will get job very easily[through luck] or due to politics will be not as serious about his job profile[performance] as compare[d] to the other person who did struggle and hard work[work hard] to get the same job. The billionaires like Mr. Ratan Tata, Bill Gates are one of not successful businessman now a day because of their hard work.{I don't understand this sentence at all} The founder of Infosys N. R. Narayana Murthy started his career with nothing but now he is [a] billionaires due to his self believe{self-belief} strong determination and strong will power{willpower is one word}.
Finally, there are two things are in life [that might bring success:] one is hard work and [the] other is luck. Luck is not in our hand but hard work is [s]in our hand. {"In our hand" means we already have something - like "a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" "In our hands" means we have control over something} Someone said that luck is like a risk but I think life is just one why to take risk and put our life’s aim in jeopardy.{This last sentence doesn't make sense to me - could you rephrase it?}
In conclusion, only hardworking people can be successful in their life.[lives] We all are familiar with the quote “hard work is a[the] key of[to] success”. {combine this sentence with your final paragraph}
TOEFL listening discussions: What will the secretary do next? |
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Luschen I'm a Communicator ;-)

Joined: 08 Apr 2011 Posts: 2133 Location: Nashville TN, USA
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#3 (permalink) Thu May 19, 2011 21:47 pm When people succeed in life, it is because of hard work. Being lucky has nothin. |
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Dear Luschen, Firstly thank you so much for your suggestion. I will definitely try to improve area where you correct me. one sentence which you not understand because I did some mistake while writing. The sentence is : The billionaires like Mr. Ratan Tata, Bill Gates are one of the most successful businessman now a day because of their hard work.
Thank you so much. |
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Dips You can meet me at english-test.net
Joined: 29 Sep 2010 Posts: 61
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#4 (permalink) Thu May 19, 2011 21:51 pm When people succeed in life, it is because of hard work. Being lucky has nothin. |
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If possible could you please grade essay so I can able to know about my progress?' Thanks |
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Dips You can meet me at english-test.net
Joined: 29 Sep 2010 Posts: 61
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#5 (permalink) Thu May 19, 2011 22:02 pm When people succeed in life, it is because of hard work. Being lucky has nothin. |
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| Dips wrote: |
| The billionaires like Mr. Ratan Tata, Bill Gates are one of the most successful businessman now a day because of their hard work. |
"The billionaires like Ratan Tata and Bill Gates are some of the most successful businessmen today because of their hard work."
I am sorry, I am not a teacher, just a native English speaker, so I really could not give you a grade corresponding to the TOEFL scale. |
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Luschen I'm a Communicator ;-)

Joined: 08 Apr 2011 Posts: 2133 Location: Nashville TN, USA
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#6 (permalink) Thu May 19, 2011 22:02 pm When people succeed in life, it is because of hard work. Being lucky has nothin. |
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| Dips wrote: |
one sentence which you not understand because I did some mistake while writing. The sentence is : The billionaires like Mr. Ratan Tata, Bill Gates are one of the most successful businessman now a day because of their hard work.
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Hi Dips:
Billionaires like Ratan Tata and Bill Gates are some of the most successful businessmen nowadays because of their hard work.
Nowadays (1 word) = in these times/today. _________________ Cheers m' dears! |
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Beeesneees Language Coach

Joined: 08 Apr 2010 Posts: 20463 Location: UK, born and bred
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#7 (permalink) Thu May 19, 2011 23:19 pm When people succeed in life, it is because of hard work. Being lucky has nothin. |
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| Thanks Beeesneees, that is obviously the word Dips was looking for! |
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Luschen I'm a Communicator ;-)

Joined: 08 Apr 2011 Posts: 2133 Location: Nashville TN, USA
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#8 (permalink) Thu May 19, 2011 23:34 pm When people succeed in life, it is because of hard work. Being lucky has nothin. |
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| Yes you are right Beeesbeees... Thank you :) |
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Dips You can meet me at english-test.net
Joined: 29 Sep 2010 Posts: 61
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#9 (permalink) Sun Jun 05, 2011 18:03 pm When people succeed, it is because of hard work. Luck has nothing to do with succ |
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Hi all,
Kindly review my essay and provide feedback. Thanks.
It is a perennial argument among the people who wish to succeed, who watch people succeed and people working for success. People say success comes from hard work and others argue success is just a luck. Success can never be just out of luck, it is a product of sustained effort and perseverence in one's will and work towars reaching the goal.
Luck is nothing but grabbing the right opportunity at right time. Luck do not have a physical form nor it belongs to certain set of people. Any one who captures the opportunity coming along his way can be lucky.Working hard and utilizing opportunities to showcase the skill is the way to success. Hard work makes a person prepared for the opportunity unleashing the powerhouse of talent innate to one's self. It is the key to success.
Consider the case of BillGates, Founder of Microsoft. When he started with a dream of making computers available on every desk, world stared at him. Now after he manifested his dream into reality, people say he is successful because he is lucky. Yes, he is lucky as he envisioned the future of the computers. He is lucky because he could do all the hard work required to achieve his goal.
Any success story in the world has great amount of effort and hard work in its background. It is undeniable truth that hard work is the key component of success. Luck just brings the opportunity to succeed. Optimists create an opportunity while pessimists wait for opportunity. Successful people make things to happen whereas others wait things to happen.
Success is the result of hard work and taking the right path in the way to reach one's goal. Luck has no definition other than being brave in accepting challenges and going forward. |
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Abhiy I'm new here and I like it ;-)

Joined: 24 May 2011 Posts: 23
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#10 (permalink) Fri Jun 10, 2011 6:25 am When people succeed in life, it is because of hard work. Being lucky has nothin. |
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| very good |
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Supriyosuma New Member
Joined: 09 Jun 2011 Posts: 1
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