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to waver; to be uncertain; to vacillate; to falter; to be indecisive
signify
tie
hesitate
permit
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please help me to correct my letter



 
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Pls help me to correct my letter #1 (permalink) Wed Apr 05, 2006 11:17 am   please help me to correct my letter		  
Dear Tortens
I'm gonna have a trip to Singapore, hence I have to write a letter to inform my senior about the date and what I will do there. please do me a favour to correct it and can you also advise me the way to achieve success of these kind of correspondences?
Thanks for your generosity,
Herein is the information:

Dear Thandar
I wish to inform you that I am going to have a trip to Singapore in this month and I will be appearing in the office for about two days, 13 - 17 April. During the time staying there, would you please to take out some times to work with me on the Customer Profile? Yet, I have got some troubles with the Customer Transaction, hope that can check it out through this opportunity.
Thanks in advance for your time and generosity,
Sincerely yours,
Kelly
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Letter #2 (permalink) Thu Apr 06, 2006 10:01 am   Letter		  
Hi Kelly,

I have made some changes to your letter in capital letters:
Quote:
Dear Thandar
I wish to inform you that (I am going to have) I AM TAKING a trip to Singapore (in) LATER this month and I will be (appearing in) VISITING the office for about two days, 13 - 17 April. During (the) MY time (staying) there, would you please (to take out some times) TAKE SOME TIME OUT to work with me on the Customer Profile? (Yet, I have got some troubles0 I AM STILL HAVING TROUBLE with the Customer Transaction AND hope that I can USE THIS OPPOORTUNITY TO check it out. (through this opportunity).
(Thanks) THANKING YOU in advance for your time and generosity,
(Sincerely yours)

YOURS SINCERELY,


Please note that I suggest you leave out the words in brackets.

Alan
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