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Do you agree or disagree that progress is always good? Use specific reasons and e



 
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Do you agree or disagree that progress is always good? Use specific reasons and e #1 (permalink) Fri May 20, 2011 4:14 am   Do you agree or disagree that progress is always good? Use specific reasons and e
 

Dear all,
Please grade my essay so I can able to understand about my progress.
Thank you so much in advance.

TOPIC: Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. Do you agree or disagree that progress is always good? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

I strongly agree with the statement that progress is always good unless it not harm our life. Nowadays human did many progress in different field like computer, automobiles, internet etc. One of the best inventions 20th century is computer which helps to unite world. I would like to give stress in technologies like computer, internet. Its helps bring people not only from particular nation but also from other part of world. My examples listed below will strengthen my point of view.

To begin with, by using internet we can stay in touch with anyone who is not only belongs to our country but also from other part of the world by using email, video chat, voice call. For instance, currently I am in United States from last two years but due to internet I can able to see my parents any time whenever I want, so I never feel away from my parents. In past, before the invention of computer a person uses hard copy to maintain record. It’s very difficult maintain and carry such things. Now due to computer invention we can save and carry unlimited documents any time. We also can see different movies, past videos anytime when we have free time.

Secondly, in life whether it’s related to people or thing have to have two sides that is positive and negative. There are also some internet- hackers who hack the people information and misuse their data or details but there are also some security people who keep eye on security of customer. So it’s doesn’t mean that progress is not good. One of the best thing I notice nowadays. Currently I am preparing for TOEFL and I found many friends in internet which will help me about my essay writing and speaking skill.

Finally, progress in technologies like automobiles for instance, car make people life more comfortable and compare to before. In past people have to wait for transportation and as we all know transportation are never on time so many people suffers. Now cars are more comfortable and save our time. Last year in India TATA company introduces Nano car which is nearly about $2000 so people from countryside area are happy afford a new car with comfortable life.

In conclusion, progress in computer field helps to unite nation and know about each other culture life style. Other technologies like automobile are help to make people life more comfortable. The only disadvantages are sometime cost are so expensive otherwise I think progress is always good specially it not harmful.

TOEFL listening discussions: How is the young woman financing her education?
Dips
You can meet me at english-test.net


Joined: 29 Sep 2010
Posts: 61

Re: Do you agree or disagree that progress is always good? Use specific reasons a #2 (permalink) Fri May 20, 2011 4:51 am   Re: Do you agree or disagree that progress is always good? Use specific reasons a
 

realy it is to good.i don't think there was any problem. i liked it.
Tarun Rana
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Joined: 27 Sep 2010
Posts: 7

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Do you agree or disagree that progress is always good? Use specific reasons and e #3 (permalink) Fri May 20, 2011 5:17 am   Do you agree or disagree that progress is always good? Use specific reasons and e
 

Hey, Tarun Thank you so much for your comment :)
Dips
You can meet me at english-test.net


Joined: 29 Sep 2010
Posts: 61

Re: Do you agree or disagree that progress is always good? Use specific reasons a #4 (permalink) Fri May 20, 2011 5:18 am   Re: Do you agree or disagree that progress is always good? Use specific reasons a
 

Dips wrote:
Dear all,
Please grade my essay so I can able to understand about my progress.
Thank you so much in advance.


Sorry about the capital letters, Dips. It's the quickest way of highlighting changes. However, you should not that 'the Internet' should always be written using a capital 'I'.

TOPIC: Do you agree or disagree that progress is always good? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

I strongly agree with the statement that progress is always good unless it HARMS our life. (tHAT IS CONTRADICTORY) Nowadays humanS did many HAVE progressED in MANY different fieldS like computerS, automobiles, THE Internet etc. One of the best inventions OF THE 20th century is THE computer which helps to unite THE world. I would like to FOCUS ON technologies like THE computer AND THE Internet. IT helps bring people TOGETHER, not only from A particular nation but also from other partS of world. My examples listed below will strengthen my point of view.

To begin with, by using THE Internet we can stay in touch with anyone who is not only belongs to our country but also from other part of the world ,by using email, video chat, AND voice callS. For instance, currently I HAVE BEEN in THE United States FOR THE last two years, but due to THE Internet I AM able to USE A WEB-LINK TO see my parents any time whenever I want, so I never feel away from my parents.

In THE past, before the invention of THE computer a person useD hard copy to maintain recordS. It’s very difficult TO maintain and carry such things. Now due to THE invention OF THE COMPUTER, we can save and carry unlimited documents any time. We can ALSO see different movies OR videos anytime when we have free time.

Secondly, (THIS IS THE THIRD POINT. YOU RUN POINTS 1 AND 2 TOGETHER. I HAVE SEPARATED THEM) in life TWO THINGS ARE ALWAYS PRESENT whether THEY ARE related to people or thingS THE SIDES THAT ARE ALWAYS PRESENT ARE THE positive and negative. (THIS IS A VERY CLUMSY SENTENCE, WHICH COULD BE IMPROVED) There are also some internet- hackers who hack the people information and misuse their data or details, but there are also some security people who LARGE ORGANISATIONS USUALLY keep AN eye on THE security of THEIR customerS, So it’s doesn’t mean that progress is not good.

(THIS IS RELATED TO THE EARLIER POINT ABOUT STAYING IN TOUCH AND WOULD BE BETTER MOVED TO THAT SECTION) One of the best thing I notice MOST USEFUL THINGS FOR ME nowadays IS THAT Currently I am preparing for TOEFL and I HAVE found many friends ON THE Internet WHO will help me IN my essay writing and speaking skillS.

Finally, I WISH TO MENTION progress in technologies like automobiles for instance, carS make people'S liVES more comfortable COMPARED to before. In THE past, people have HADto wait for transportation and as we all know transportation IS never on time so many people suffers. Now cars are more comfortable and save our time. Last year in India THE TATA company introduceD A Nano car which COST about $2000 so MORE people THAN EVER BEFORE from countryside area are ABLE TO afford a new car AND A MORE comfortable lifeSTYLE.

In conclusion, progress in THE FIELD OF computerS help to unite nationS and LEARN about each other'S cultureS AND lifestyleS. Other technologies, like automobile are help to make people'S liVES more comfortable. The only disadvantages are sometime costS are so expensive. Otherwise I think progress is always good specially IF IT IS not harmful.

A good try, but two clear grammatical aspects that you need to work on come out of this essay: use of the article and use of plurals. Because both are used so much in English, they affect the entire passage.

Regrading the content. your ideas jump around a little, as can be seen from my in-text comments. Your statements tend to contradict each other. Also, don't state your intention to focus on one aspect, then introduce a completely different aspect.

My suggestion for this essay structure would be:

State your opinions that (progress is good) however, there are downsides (which need to be considered).
Give arguments and reasons why progress is good, explaining with each paragraph what the problems relating to such progress are.
Conclude by but pointing out that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages in your opinion, so progress is good..

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Do you agree or disagree that progress is always good? Use specific reasons and e #5 (permalink) Fri May 20, 2011 5:56 am   Do you agree or disagree that progress is always good? Use specific reasons and e
 

Dear Beeesneees,
Thank you so much for your valuable advice. I will keep in mind you suggestion and I will definitely improve next time.
I am confusing about when to put THE, AN in the sentences. Could you please help me?
Dips
You can meet me at english-test.net


Joined: 29 Sep 2010
Posts: 61

Do you agree or disagree that progress is always good? Use specific reasons and e #6 (permalink) Fri May 20, 2011 8:50 am   Do you agree or disagree that progress is always good? Use specific reasons and e
 

Hi Dips,

Have a look at this: http://www.english-test.net/lessons/16/index.html

Alan
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Do you agree or disagree that progress is always good? Use specific reasons and e #7 (permalink) Fri May 20, 2011 14:03 pm   Do you agree or disagree that progress is always good? Use specific reasons and e
 

Thank you so much Alan.
Dips
You can meet me at english-test.net


Joined: 29 Sep 2010
Posts: 61

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