can someone rate my eassy please?

[Smartstart]

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Grades (marks) encourage students to learn. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
I agree with the statement that grades encourage students to learn. I believe that in order to get higher grades, students will study hard. From their grades, students will find out which subjects they have to focus more. Students need higher grades to get into good college which will motivate students to learn.
First of all, in my point of view, grades will encourage students to learn because everybody wants to get higher grades and looks good. The student whose grades are low in one semester will work harder the next semester to get higher grades. If there is no grade than students will just do the minimum work to get through each year. Students would not know how much to study without being graded. Grades are the scale that inspires students to learn and get to the highest point of the scale.
Secondly, I think that grades help students to find out their strengths and weaknesses in studying. If students do not get good grades in some subjects then they know that they need to focus more on those subjects to get better grades. For instance, I used to get A in all subject but math in high school, which motivated me to study hard in math to get A in math too.
Last but not least, good colleges have the higher standard. That means that the students with higher grades will only be able to get in to those colleges. Everybody knows that how important it is to get into good colleges since their future depends on what college they go into. The student who goes to Harvard or NYU has better chances of getting job than the student with the same grade who goes to local college
All in all, I agree with that the grades encourages student to learn because it gives students competition, it helps students to find their weakness and it enables students to get into good colleges.

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between two university students (2)