can someone rate my essay please?

[Smartstart]

Topic: Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age and should spend most of their time on school studies. Others believe that young children should spend most of their time playing. Which view do you agree with? Why?
Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age and should spend most of their time on school studies. But I believe that young children should spend most of their time playing. I think this because playing indoor activities help their mental growth and playing outdoor activities help them become physically strong. Moreover, children who play at early age become happy adult.

First of all, in my view, playing indoor games are very important for young children. When children play indoor games like scrabble, jigsaw puzzle, Lego, or just play with a toy, they develop intellectual skills. They also learn how to be creative, how to share their toy with other kids, and how to play by rules. Therefore, I believe children should be playing games at early age to learn all these skills.

Secondly, outdoor games help in children’s physical growth. When children are playing outdoor games like playing tag, basket ball, or playing in park with other kids, they are using their muscles. These activities make children become stronger physically. Children will learn how to co-operate with other kids which will help them develop their social skills. If children start their study at very early age and spend most of their time studying, then they become physically weak and socially inept.

Last but not least, study shows without playing games, children may become depressed later in their life. When children are playing games, they are having fun and become very happy. They develop positive energy which help them think positively. They see the world is beautiful place to live. On the other hand, if children do not spend enough time playing, then they become more stressed and start to feel there is no fun in life. These children when they grow up become depressed.

In conclusion, I agree with the view that young children should spend most of their time playing since playing helps them develop mentally, physically and socially.

TOEFL listening lectures: Why does the professor discuss World War II?

[Goldhat]

When you have a more than a few sentences it helps to divide the text into paragraphs with a full line of space in between. So instead of just a new line, create a full line of space.

For example:

Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age and should spend most of their time on school studies. Others believe that young children should spend most of their time playing. Which view do you agree with? Why?

Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age and should spend most of their time on school studies. But I believe that young children should spend most of their time playing. I think this because playing indoor activities help their mental growth and playing outdoor activities help them become physically strong. Moreover, children who play at early age become happy adult.

First of all, in my view, playing indoor games are very important for young children. When children play indoor games like scrabble, jigsaw puzzle, Lego, or just play with a toy, they develop intellectual skills. They also learn how to be creative, how to share their toy with other kids, and how to play by rules. Therefore, I believe children should be playing games at early age to learn all these skills.
_________________
Joel Milne,
English-Test.net Developer

[Smartstart]

thanks

[Manju061]

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Topic:) "Importance of Internet"
Information and Technology is become essential things in present day. In the name of globalization, we use internet to communicate with each other from one corner of the world to another. With the help of internet, every person in the world even from very remote area can experience superior than before. We can get global information from every part of the world through the internet. After the industrial revolution, pace of development is so speedy because of the internet.
First, thorough the internet we felt that whole world is borderless, we all are in the same playing field and the world is so narrow. One can do his or her business throughout the world without visiting every country and without staying in business launched country. We can do our every activity very easily, fast and effectively. For example, you would like to visit one corner/place of world. First you can search about the place and get lots of information about the weather, landmarks, hotel for stay, attraction. Then your visit will be far more successful then without knowing about the place.

Second, before the development of internet, we do not know about world, even owns’ country. Now, If we need to know about something we can Google that and can get lots of information regarding them. If you have every information those in developed and educated people have you will not feel inferior to others. That leads people for better future. We can share our view with other and improve our thinking after knowing better idea.

In conclusion, Internet is the sanctuary for human being to get knowledge and information. After getting information about the world, we can apply such knowledge to develop our society/country.

[Manju061]

please listen my recording and advise me.
thanks