I am new here, can anybody helps to correct my essay? Thanks.

[Wishdream]

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
All school teachers should be required to take courses every five years to update their knowledge?

In today’s society, everybody will face the dilemma that should school teachers be required to take courses every five years to update their knowledge. It is a most debated one that it will affect lots of teachers’ daily life. Some people may have opinions on it, but others just have no opinion on it at all. It is quiet easy for average people to disagree with the suggestion, because teachers in Taiwan are very busy. Taking extra courses will make them think the life is too horrible. As far as I am concerned, I have opposite opinion. I think it is necessary for teachers to take extra courses every five years, and several reasons are stated as followed.
Most important of all, teacher is one kind of special occupation. They have to transfer correct knowledge to our next generation, and they have to increase the motivation of their students. The world changes every moment, and it is not easy for teachers to keep up with the trend of the society only by themselves. Additionally, they can also meet other excellent teachers to exchange the teaching methods.
Besides, learning new knowledge is necessary for everyone regardless of his occupation. As an old proverb says, “It is never too late to learn.” Teachers can improve themselves from taking new courses, and I think the courses will be definitely beneficial for them. They can also get rid of the boring daily life during the training.
Finally, having newest knowledge is especially important for some kinds of teachers, such as the professors in the universities. Their students have to do researches. If the knowledge they acquired is out of date, it is impossible for them to become excellent researchers.
In short, I suggest that teachers need to have courses every five years in order to get latest knowledge, have lifetime learning, and be qualified for teaching.

TOEFL listening lectures: A lecture from a science class

[Luschen]

Hi, your English is quite good - only a few errors. I don't really agree with the beginning of your introduction and I think your reasons could be more clearly differentiated. All your body paragraphs seem to focus only on keeping up to date on the latest knowledge. That is fine, but try to focus on different specific benefits of that concept to differentiate your paragraphs.

[Wlc078]

Dear Luschen. Thanks for your help! =)