Please correct it: Children should manage their own money at the young age

[K1028]

Please, hope anyone can correct my essay, THANK YOU VERY MUCH

Topic: In order to become financially responsible adults, children should manage their own money at the young age.

With the rapidly growth of education, an increasing number of people discuss whether their children should be responsible for their moeny or not. From my perceptive, we should cultivate our children to manage their health by themselves. There are a few reason for my opinion.

To begin with, in order to prevent our children from spending their money on unnecessary things, we should let them know the value of money and teach them the positive attitude towards money in their early stage. Moreover, asking children to make plans and think twice before they spend their money when they are young, will help them form a good habit for their financially responsibility.

Besides, learning how to control their possession is helpful for children to build a conception of arranging their lives and make them be more rational and analytical. In other words, if children know that their time is as important as money, they won't waste their time on needless things. In contrary, children who don't know how to make plans for their finance and lives, probably spend lots of money and time doing what they want to do but get nothing and pose a heavy financial burden on their shoulder.

Last but not least, some people assert that children are too young to understand how to control their money, and they don't need to be responsible for their finance. However, I still insist that children should develop habits towards money when they are at early age because it is beneficial to them and help them being wealthy in the future.

From what we have talked above, we can humbly make a conclusion that learning how to manage their own money is profitable for our children in their early stage because they can form a good habit for their finance and time. Besides, children who manage their own money well will bring them amount of wealth in the future.

TOEFL listening discussions: Why must the young woman leave?

[Katty2010]

With the rapidly growth of education, an increasing number of people discuss whether their children should be responsible for their moeny or not. From my perceptive, we should cultivate our children to manage their health by themselves. There are a few reason for my opinion.

To begin with, in order to prevent our children from spending their money on unnecessary things, we should let them know the value of money and teach them the positive attitude towards money in their early stage. Moreover, asking children to make plans and think twice before they spend their money when they are young, will help them form a good habit for their financially responsibility.

Besides, learning how to control their possession is helpful for children to build a conception of ManAging their lives and make them be more rational and analytical. In other words, if children know that their time is as important as money, they won't waste their time on needless things. In contrary, children who don't know how to make plans for their finance and lives, probably spend lots of money and time doing what they want to do but get nothing and pose a heavy financial burden on their shoulder.

Last but not least, some people assert that children are too young to understand how to control their money, and they don't need to be responsible for their finance. However, I still insist that children should develop habits towards money when they are at early age because it is beneficial to them and help them being wealthy in the future.

From what we have talked above, we can humbly make a conclusion that learning how to manage their own money is profitable for our children in their early stage because they can form a good habit for their finance and time. Besides, children who manage their own money well will bring them amount of wealth in the future.
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[K1028]

Thanks for your correct, katty

And I'm sorry that I made a funny mistake. What I want to write is WEALTH

All in all, Thanks a lot