Please, rate my essay. The reason people attend colleges

[Y.k_Allegra]

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The voice message is a little out of topic. LOL. I wondered what my accents would sound like and decided to record it. You can even make fun of my accents if you want, I wouldn't mind.

Please, rate it or suggest on what I should improve on my essay. Is my essay confusing or I have poor choice of words? Any suggestions are welcome. It will be very helpful to me. Thank you very much.

People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, and increase knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

In today world, Education has become a primary access of a success in life. People are seeking out for higher education everywhere around the world. In my opinion, the important reason for most people to attend college is for career preparation.
First of all, opportunity for financial benefit jobs often goes to people with higher education. Most employers tend to hire people with, at least, a degree from a college or university. In that way, they can be assured that the people they employ are well-educated, skillful, and trained. For example, I who have only a high school diploma can only get a job with the minimum weight, on the other hand, my sister who graduated from college has been hired in a big company in the city and has led a comfortable life.
Second, in order to achieve a dream, people need to attend colleges or universities to become professionals in their dream careers. Without degrees they will seldom be able to obtain a chance to do what they love, even if they have enough knowledge to do their jobs. For instance, if a person wants to become a nurse, s/he will have to go to a nursing school and learn all about the required knowledge and skills from the school, without the degree no one will hire her/him into a nursing job, even if s/he knows how to take care of patients.
Conclusively, attending a college or university is an efficient way of gaining a desirable job. College degrees are priorities for those who want opportunity, and success in life.

TOEFL listening lectures: A lecture from an american literature class

[Goldhat]

The use of s/he and her/him seems to make the reading strained. I would just pick either "he" or "she" and use that consistently throughout.
_________________
Joel Milne,
English-Test.net Developer

[Y.k_Allegra]

Thank you so much. I used to see an example essay in a book and it used s/he in the essay, so I just kind of took it as an example. Thank you.