Integrated Essay: Altruistic behavior

[Boy1994]

Hi,

here is my latest integrated essay. Please correct it.

In this set of materials, the two sources deal with information about computer voting systems. The reading passage states that computer voting systems are useful, whereas the lecture highlights the disadvantages of these voting systems.

Firstly, the text maintains that computer voting systems are easier to handle as there are touchscreens and the text can be magnified. Accordingly, this is good for people with a poor vision. The lecture, however, argues that these systems are only good for those people who use a computer often. It can be quite difficult for other people and this can lead into a trouble, so that these persons could vote wrongly or even have too much fear of voting to go to the vore.

Secondly, the author maintains that there will be no human errors in counting the votes that could lead into costly recountings if you use a computer system. On the other hand, the speaker states that those systems are programmed by humans, so there could be human errors. These errors are more serious than some human errors as these errors could cause thousands of wrong-counted votes. Additionally, a recounting will not be possible if you use such computer programms as the votes are not counted physically. Therefore, there is no chance to count the votes correctly.

Thirdly, the writer suggests that these programms are not risky. For example, you use banking programms and communication programms that need sensitive data too. The speaker opposes this point by saying that such programs are developed over years. He states that these programs had many errors in the first place that are ameliorated over the years. Furthermore, he says that the voting systems are not used often enough to achieve such a development.

Here is the source:
http://www.italki.com/knowledge/contribution-EXAMPLE+OF+A+TOEFL+INTEGRATED+ESSAY.htm

Sincerely

TOEFL listening lectures: Which is a characteristic of realistic landscape paintings?