Toefl® essay. Please help me assess it. Thanks a lot :)

[Bokehaholic]

Learning about the past has no value for those of us living in the present. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

History is vitally important to human being and it should be appreciated by consecutive generations. It cannot be denied that every nation in the world and every science field has its own history. Although I am not fond much of learning this subject at school, I figure out it is really essential for everyone to be informed about the history. Hence, I totally object to the view that “learning about the past has no value for those of us living in the present”.

To begin with, learning the history will help us understand profoundly the origins of things we attain. Everything happening in this world has its own beginning point. If we know thoroughly its history, we will have a stable base and thus be able study further well. Moreover, we can avoid the mistakes that people made in the past. As a result, things will be improved positively with a higher chance of success. For example, a politician has to study extensively his/her national history, taking a lesson from both the fault and the right policies in the past to improve the current ones to suit the situation of his nations and the wishes of people.

Furthermore, learning about things happening in the past will somewhat help establish our characteristics, especially children and adolescents. For instance, when they study about the slavery in the past, they will be thoroughly aware of how cruel and inhumane it was. Also, as they are informed that there were many brave soldiers sacrificing for the freedom they are living in, they will begin to appreciate the peace and resent meaningless and brutal wars. As a result, they will become the national patriots with hearts of gold, who are willing to devote their competences to the country’s development and thriving.

All in all, it is necessary and interesting when having opportunities to study about the past. It enables us to satisfy the desire to know the origins of things we are examining. Additionally, it will helps set up good characteristics of our own. However, if we are not expert at history, we should select proper and essential information instead of immersing ourselves in superfluous details. It will be time-consuming and thus we do not have much time to update current news and events, which make us become out-of-date.

TOEFL listening lectures: A university lecture by a professor of History (2)

[Katty2010]

History is vitally important to human being and it should be appreciated by consecutive generations. It cannot be denied that every nation in the world and every science field has its own history. Although I am not fond much of learning this subject at school, I figure out it is really essential for everyone to be informed about the history. Hence, I totally object to the view that “learning about the past has no value for those of us living in the present”.

To begin with, learning the history will help us understand profoundly the origins of things we attain. Everything happening in this world has its own beginning point. If we know thoroughly its history, we will have a stable base and thus be able study further well. Moreover, we can avoid the mistakes that people made in the past. As a result, things will be improved positively with a higher chance of success. For example, a politician has to study extensively his/her national history, taking a lesson from both the fault and the right policies in the past to improve the current ones to suit the situation of his nations and the wishes of people.

Furthermore, learning about things happening in the past will somewhat help establish our characteristics, especially children and adolescents. For instance, when they study about the slavery in the past, they will be thoroughly aware of how cruel and inhumane it was. Also, as they are informed that there were many brave soldiers sacrificing for the freedom they are living in, they will begin to appreciate the peace and resent meaningless and brutal wars. As a result, they will become the national patriots with hearts of gold, who are willing to devote their competences to the country’s development and thriving.

Additionally, it will helps set up good characteristics of our own. However, if we are not expert at history, we should select proper and essential information instead of immersing ourselves in superfluous details. It will be time-consuming IN THIS FAST WORLD. and SINCE we do not have much time to update current news and events, which make us become out-of-date.

All in all, it is necessary and interesting when having opportunities to study about the past. It enables us to satisfy the desire to know the origins of things we are examining.
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Nice Essay 8.5/10!
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[Bokehaholic]

thanks so much Katty :)