Kindly check my essay, I will be extremly thankful to you, :))

[Waghma]

If you could change one important thing about your hometown, what would you change? Use reason and specific example to support your answer.

There are many things in my hometown about which the serious concentration is required, like appropriate facilities, bad system of education, internet supply, the load shading of water and gas which occur everyday etc. But in my opinion the most important one is the problem of transportation. People of my town suffer everyday because of mismanagement, and lack of buses. They have to wait for hours while they are going somewhere. I will discuss it by providing some details.

Firstly, there are not many buses available for the transportation. Bus stops are always crowded. People wait hours for bus to come. When these buses come to the station, there will always be fights for getting on to the bus, because if this bus leaves then they have to wait another hour for other bus to come. Usually, accidents happen while people rush to take seat at buses. Most of them school and collage students, the students hang themselves at the door of these buses, for reach the school in time, but they are forgetting that they are trying to play with their precious life. Hospitals are reported of accidents that daily occur at bus stop. Precious lives have been lasting just because of mismanagement of transportation.

Secondly, the buses are extremely uncomfortable and too smelly. If someone traveled for twenty minutes; he/she will feel like you were at bus from days, and after getting off someone feel dazzling. Some people are also smoking while they are in bus and disturb the other passengers. The taxi and other services are so expensive to take. It’s unaffordable for the middle class of my town. The seats are too close and congested. The buses are always polluted by people. During the travel passengers are suffering a lot.

Some days before, I came across an accident which happened. There was a lady, who stood in the door of bus and she was about to take off. Suddenly, the bus driver didn’t wait for the women to get off; he started the bus to leave. The women fell from the bus and she was badly injured. I felt too bad at that time. Just because of the negligence of the bus drivers, who always in hurry that other passengers are waiting at bus stop, there was possibility of lasting a precious life. There are countless examples which occur at bus stop daily.

In conclusion, the municipality should take positive action regarding the transportation of my town. The citizens are suffering a lot by the crowded and smelly buses. Usually accidents are happened at bus stop. To lessen the tension and to convenience of my people, the new and comfortable buses and shuttle should be hiring. If anything I could change about my hometown that would be definitely transportation, in order to bring out the citizens of my town from everyday problem.

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between a university adviser and a student

[Katty2010]

If you could change one important thing about your hometown, what would you change? Use reason and specific example to support your answer.

There are many things in my hometown, WHICH REQUIRE about which the serious concentration is required, like appropriate facilities, bad system of education, internet supply, the load shEDding of water and gas which occur everyday etc. But in my opinion the most important one is the problem of transportation. People of my town suffer everyday because of mismanagement, and lack of buses. They have to wait for hours while they are going somewhere. I will discuss it by providing some details.

Firstly, there are not many buses available for the transportation. Bus stops are always crowded. People wait FOR hours for bus to come. When these buses come to the station, PEOPLE ALWAYS FIGHT TO GET ON TO THE BUS there will always be fights for getting on to the bus, because if ONE bus leaves then they have to wait FOR another hour TO CATCH THE NEXT ONE for other bus to come. Usually, accidents happen while people rush to take seatS IN buses. Most of them school and collage students, the students hang themselves at HANG ON TO the door of these buses, TO reach the school in time, but they are forget[s]ting that they are trying to play with[/s] BY RISKING their precious life. Hospitals are reported of accidents that daily occur at bus stop. Precious lives have been lOOSing just because of mismanagement of transportation.

Secondly, the buses are extremely uncomfortable and too smelly. If someone traveLS for twenty minutes; he/she will feel like AS IF HE/SHE WAS you wAS TRAVELING IN A at bus fOR days, and after getting off PEOPLE SUFFER FROM [s]feel[/s] dIZZYNESS. Some people are also smoking while they are On bus and disturb the other passengers. The taxi and other services are so expensive to take. It’s unaffordable for the middle class of my town. The seats are too close and congested. The buses are always polluted by people. During the travel passengers are suffering a lot.

Some days before, I came across an accident which happened. There was a lady, who stood AT the door of bus and she was about to GET off. Suddenly, the bus driver didn’t wait for the women to get off; he started the bus to leave. The women fell from the bus and she was badly injured. I felt too bad at that time. Just because of the negligence of the bus drivers, who ARE always in hurry that other passengers are waiting at bus stop, there was possibility of lOSINGing a precious life. There are countless SUCH ACCIDENTS which occur at bus stop daily.

In conclusion, the municipality should take positive action regarding the transportation SITUATION of my town. The citizens are suffering a lot by the crowded and smelly buses. Usually accidents are happened at bus stop. To lessen the tension and to convenience of my people, the new and comfortable buses and shuttleS should be BOUGHT ON ROAD BY GOVERNMENT. If anything I could change about my hometown that would be definitely transportation, in order to bring out the citizens of my town from everyday problemS.

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DAZZLING means :- Amazing.
LASTING means :- remaining for a long time.

5.5/10
You need to work really hard. You have to read and listen to english conversations in order to improve your english language skills.
You should use dictionary, probably oxford.
You have to read and improve your grammar.
You have potential to be good, but you need to work hard. :)
Goodluck!
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Just a confused kid... trying to live through twists & turns of life!
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Everything Is Temporary!

[Waghma]

Thanks very much. I am really appreciating this. Your kind help and suggestion to improve myself. Thanks indeed. :)

[Katty2010]

Yup one thing more, watch english movies and dramas too.
_________________
Just a confused kid... trying to live through twists & turns of life!
------
Everything Is Temporary!

[Waghma]

I will definitely do. Thanks and God bless you.

[TheExpert]

Hi Waghma, your writing is really very good. I liked it and enjoyed reading it. I am not so knowledgeable that I can check your stuffs. But I appreciate your way of writing. Work hard. I wish you good luck for your future.

[Our Tort System]