12 days left. could you help me with my essay? thanx a lot :)

[Isolde]

In order to solve the problems of the present and the future, people should review the past.

The longest river also originated from the Tibetan Mountains; the tallest tree also generated from the soil under it. Everything has its origin, and when people are trying to discover something, they often trace back to the origin. This is how history and the past helps. When the issue of whether people should review the past in order to solve problems of the present and the future, my answer is yes; the past offers us regular patterns through the ages, teach us how to learn from the ancestor’s experience, and let us avoid failures by giving examples happened in the past. Just like the universal truth of dating back to the origin, it’s also no doubt we should review the past to deal with problems today and tomorrow.

To begin with, through the time, we could see same patterns of things happened again and again. History always repeats itself, and the laws are those we should learn from. Before the PRC’s founding, there’re many attempts to save China which were all ended with failure, until Chairman Mao’s advent. He realized from reviewing the past that China’s population was consisted of a huge number of peasants, and many dynasties were collapsed because of peasants’ dissatisfaction. After noticing this, Mao chose a method of regarding peasants as the main body, and make rural areas to be their base. At last, this method was proved to be right. Mao’s choice was based on all the regular laws in the past, and that’s why at last he and his methods succeed.

Besides, reviewing the past teach us by giving the successful cases and warn us by those are failed. China didn’t develop smoothly during recent history. When it came to the bottle-neck in developing, the leaders began to analyzing the history. Qing dynasty crumbled because of its close-door policy, and Japan developed drastically by open their country to the international intercourse. So, as a result, China chose the way to open up, and that’s the famous policy called “Reform and Open-up”. After this, China got its breakthrough in economy. And all these could be owed to reviewing from the past.

By discussions above, now we all have a judgment of how useful the past experience is. Reviewing the past gave us lots of valuable hints and lessons, also, it would still be the most precious fortune at present and in the future.

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between two students in a chemistry class

[Isolde]

could anybody help me with my essay? I don have a teacher or a senior now, and I'm really worried about my writing standard.
thanx a lot!

[Katty2010]

In order to solve the problems of the present and the future, people should review the past.

The longest river also originated from the Tibetan Mountains; the tallest tree also generated from the soil under it. Everything has its origin, and when people are trying to discover something, they often trace back to the origin. This is how history and the past helps. When the issue RISES of whether people should review the past in order to solve problems of the present and the future, my answer is yes; the past offers us regular patterns through the ages, teachES us how to learn from the ancestor’s experience, and let us avoid failures by giving examples happened in the past. Just like the universal truth of dating back to the origin, it’s also no doubt we should review the past to deal with problems today and tomorrow.

To begin with, through the time, we cAN see same patterns of things happenING again and again. History always repeats itself, and the laws are those we should learn from. Before the PRC’s founding, there’re many attempts to save China which were all ended with failure, until Chairman Mao’s advent. He realized from reviewing the past that China’s population MAINLY consisted of a huge number of peasants, and many dynasties were collapsed because of peasants’ dissatisfaction. After noticing this, Mao chose a method of regarding peasants as the main body, and maDe rural areas to be their base. At last, this method was proved to be right. Mao’s choice was based on all the regular laws in the past, and that’s why at last he and his methods succeed.

Besides reviewing, the past teachES us by giving the successful cases and warnS us ABOUT THOSE WHICH LEAD TO FAILURE. China didn’t develop smoothly during recent history. When it came to the bottle-neck in developing, the leaders began to analyzE the history. Qing dynasty crumbled because of its close-door policy, and Japan developed drastically by open their country to the international intercourse. So, as a result, China chose the way to open up, and that’s the famous policy called “Reform and Open-up”. After this, China got its breakthrough in economy. And all these could be owed to reviewing from the past.

By discussions above, now we all have a judgment of how useful the past experience is. Reviewing the past gIveS us lots of valuable hints and lessons, also, it would still be the most precious fortune at present and in the future.

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Nice Essay, work on your tenses. 7.5/10
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Just a confused kid... trying to live through twists & turns of life!
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Everything Is Temporary!

[Isolde]

Thanks a lot for your advice! And I have an idea of my level now.(｡◝‿◜｡)♪
I would check the tenses to make it better!
I don't want to be troublesome, but could you help me with this essay?
It's an essay I wrote yesterday with more hard work. Could you score it for me one more time?

Agree or disagree, in order to succeed, you should be more like others than be different from everyone else.

There’s an old saying goes in China “Guns shoot those birds who stand out”, admittedly, many people nowadays still support the traditional doctrine of self-preservation called “The golden mean”. Is it really an infallible rule that we should be more like others than being distinctive if we want to succeed?

It can not be denied that behave moderately and gregariously do offer us benefits. First, because those who act following the surroundings are more likely to be considered as modest and temperate, when something profitable comes, people are more likely to share information and thoughts with those are similar with themselves. Second, when someone acts weirdly or even just because he is exceptional excellent, the others would always alienate him, or bully him.

However, could acting like the others really make it easier to gain success? There’s a story like this -- Sichuan University, as a famous university in China, has a system called "autonomy enrollment", which gives chances to those who believe himself has a distinguish skill to attract the professors. One year, when almost all students are exhibiting their skills like fluent spoken-English, piano, awards of academic competitions, etc, a student shows her ability of cooking for her parents. Faculty is attracted by her piety. Her cooling skill, which seems ridiculous in that situation, just made her distinguishable, and gave her the chance to succeed. Maybe it’s wonderful to be a versatile person who has skills which are accepted universally, but that just means you are ONE of the well-rounded people in set pattern, not THE ONE who is out-standing and conspicuous.

In addition, sometimes chances are just for those who different from anyone else. Actors who provide sound for character in animation are called “Seiyuu” in Japan. When the worldly famous manga called Doraemon is going to be made into animation, the staff met a big problem of finding seiyuu for the leading role. Many seiyuus with beautiful voice could not fit the character of a coward boy, while when a girl who feels inferior about her voice was discovered. Her voice, which is totally different from the traditional type of others, just made her suitable to achieve the leading role.

In conclusion, though being similar with others could be convenient in a sense, sometimes it is being different which offers you a door towards success.