please check my essay of TOEFL®. I really need your help!!I will take exam soon>

[Mihomiho]

City
It is better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to develop your essay.

I agree to that it is better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city because children can play everywhere.
First of all, there are many natures in countryside. In my case, I lived in country side until 6 years old. I used to play with my friends outdoors, for example swimming, catching insect and climbing trees. The river was very beautiful and there were many fishes so I could catch them. Also there are many insects in the forest like beetle and stag beetle. I enjoyed observing them. In the forest, there are many trees so I could climb big tree and make secret place on the tree with my friends. It was very fun to play outside for me and I could learn many things about creature and nature. Playing outside is very good experience for children. However, I moved to a big city when I was 7 years old. At first I enjoyed living in a big city because there are many people and cars. It is rare for me but by degrees, I missed living in the countryside since I couldn’t play outside and there weren’t my friends of the countryside. There are no places like river and forest.
Secondly, the people in the countryside are helping each other, for example if the mother is in trouble bringing up child, everyone help her. Also children can communicate many people because relationship of neighborhood is stronger than in a big city. When I lived in countryside, I always communicated with my neighborhood and they spoke to me every time. I could learn how to communicate and it is very fun for me.
Therefore, with all given points above, I strongly fell it is good for children to grow up in the countryside.
(300words)
よろしくおねがいします！

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between two students (1)

[Katty2010]

I agree to that it is better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city because children can play everywhere.
First of all, there are many natures in countryside. In my case, I lived in country side until THE AGE OF 6 years old. I used to play with my friends outdoors, for example swimming, catching insectS and climbing trees. The river was very beautiful and there were many fishes so I could catch them. Also there are many insects in the forest like beetleS and stag beetleS. I enjoyed observing them. In the forest, there are many trees so I could climbED big treeS and maDE A secret place on the tree with my friends. It was very fun to play outside for me and I could learnED many things about creatureS and nature. Playing outside is very good experience for children.

However, I moved to a big city when I was 7 years old. At first I enjoyed living in a big city because there are many people and cars. It WAS rare for me but by degrees, I missed living in the countryside since I couldn’t play outside and there weren’t my friends of the countryside. IN CITY THERE ARE no places like river and forest.

Secondly, the people in the countryside are MORE HELPFUL, for example if the mother is in trouble bringing up A child, everyone helpS her. Also children can communicate WITH many people because relationship of neighborhood is stronger than in a big city. When I lived in countryside, I always communicated with my neighborhood and they spoke to me every time. I could learnED how to communicate and it is very fun for me.

Therefore, with all given points above, I strongly feEl it is good for children to grow up in the countryside.

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6.5/10 Nice Essay :) Read. Read. Read.
Improve your reading skills.
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[Mihomiho]

thank you for checking my essay!! Your advises are really helpful for me:D I will study more!!

[Justin_Huang]

[Mihomiho]

thanks!! I tried to fix my sentance^^