help my essay! I will take an examination of toefl® next week><

[Mihomiho]

Restaurant
It has recently been announced that a new restaurant may be built in your neighborhood. Do you support or oppose this plan? Why? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

I disagree to that a new restaurant may be built in my neighborhood because if the restaurant was famous, many people would come. There are many problems like noisy, crime and traffic jam.
In my case, in my neighborhood, there are many restaurants. These are very good restaurants and I can eat foods there. It might be useful for us to live near restaurant but there are three disadvantages. One is noisy. When there were not restaurants in my town, my town was really calm. However, it is very noisy now since many people come.
Secondly, the restaurants open until midnight so there are many young people in front of restaurant in midnight. I feel it would connect crime someday. Also it is very bright and young people make a lot of noise in front of restaurant every night. It is hard for me to sleep well. Moreover, I can’t go to outside alone at night because I feel my town is not safe many more. It makes me sad. My hobby is jogging. When I was child, I could run in my town at night. However, I can’t run now.
Finally, it causes to traffic jam. In my town, the restaurant which is my neighborhood is really famous so many people come to there. Many people come by car. It is dangerous for children because they can’t play outside. Children play in home every day like playing video games. It is not good for them. Moreover, I can’t drive a car because of traffic jam. It is very hard for me because if I wanted to drive fast, I couldn’t drive fast. It makes me irritate.
Therefore, with all given points above, I strongly feel it is not good way to build a new restaurant in my town.
(299)
please give me advises!!

TOEFL listening discussions: Why doesn't the young man want to assume the family business?

[Iris87]

Restaurant
It has recently been announced that a new restaurant may be built in your neighborhood. Do you support or oppose this plan? Why? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

I disagree to that a new restaurant may be built WITH THE DECISION OF BUILDING A NEW RESTAURANT in my neighborhood because if the restaurant was BECOMES famous, many people would LIKE TO GO THERE come. There are many problems like noisyE, crime and traffic jam.
In my case, In my neighborhood, There are many restaurants in my neighborhood. These are very good restaurants and I can eat nice foods there. It might be useful for us to live near restaurant but there are three disadvantages. One is noisyE. When there were not restaurants in my town, my town was really calm. However, it is very noisy now since many people come.
Secondly, the restaurants ARE openED until midnight so there are many young people in front of restaurantS in midnight. I feel it THIS Cwould connect LEAD TO A crime someday. Also it is very bright and young people make a lot of noise in front of restaurantS every night. It is hard for me to sleep well. Moreover, I can’t go to outside alone at night because I feel my town is not safe many more. It makes me sad. My hobby is jogging. When I was A child, I could run in my town at night. However, I can’t run now.
Finally, it causes to traffic jam. In my town, the restaurant which is IN my neighborhood is really famous so many people come GO there. Many people come by car. It is dangerous for children because they can’t play outside. Children play VIDEO GAMES in AT THEIR home every day. It is not good for them. Moreover, I can’t drive a car because of traffic jam. It is very hard for me because if I wanted to drive fast, I couldn’t drive fast. It makes me irritate.
Therefore, with all given points above, I strongly feel it is not A good way DECISION to build a new restaurant in my town.

[Mihomiho]

thanks for fixing my sentance:D