Someone to correct my essay please? "Why people attend university?"

[Iris87]

Topic: People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university.

Nowadays, the number of people who attend universities has increased comparatively to the past.
There are many reasons why more and more people try to attend college or university such as to gain new experiences, to increase their knowledge and to prepare for a successful career.

To begin with, attending a university offers the opportunity to gain a lot of experiences. For example, you can make friends who have the same interests as you. Moreover, while attending the university one can make experiments in the university's lab. For instance, it is important for someone who studies chemistry to involve in different kinds of experiments.

The university allows you to increase your knowledge. Before making the choice of the university that you are going to attend, you must choose the field that you are interested in. In order to get your degree, you are required to read many books, to write papers and to take your exams. All these activities expand your knowledge. Beside this, the university allows you to enter into the library where a lot of books are available which means that one can read books or magazines that are not associated directly with his field of study.

Finally, many corporations search for people who acquire a degree in a specific field for hiring them. It is true that people who attended a university not only have expanded their knowledge but they have learnt significant skills as well. For instance, while attending the university one have the chance to make presentations in front of his colleagues and his professors. In this way one learns the skill of doing presentations which may be important in his potential future career.

To sum up, students attend universities for several reasons. Their chances of getting a high-paid job are increased because of their expanded knowledge and of course their skills.

ps:thanks in advance :)

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between a student and an HR interviewer

[Iris87]

No one? :( Please...it's a short one. :)

[Justin_Huang]

Let me try and please correct me if I mislead the author.

[Iris87]

Thanks a lot Justin! I appreciate your help. I have posted another one. If you can please correct it! Thanks again!

I have a question. In this sentence: " one has the chance to make presentations in front of his colleagues and his professors." When we say "one has..." then are you sure it needs "their colleagues"?

[Justin_Huang]

Hi Iris,

Yes, I think so. You can check this thread:
http://www.english-test.net/forum/ftopic56511.html

[Iris87]

I got it! Thanks again! So, I'll not get confused again with this issue.