I am new here, can anybody helps modifying my essay? Thanks.

[Gter.tw]

Do you agree with the following statement? In a team, those who cannot accept other’s criticism cannot be successful.
In today’s society, we have to face lots of different problems, and it is a dilemma that whether we should accept other’s criticism or not. This issue is a most debated one. Sometimes people may want to help you, but sometimes they may only be jealous about your success. It is easy for average people to reject others’ criticism because nobody wants to feel misinterpreted. Some people believe that a person does not need others' judgments to make him successful. However, I believe we should accept others’ criticism because success people can handle other’s suggestions, and criticism from your enemies can help you develop positive attitude when facing difficulties. Several points of view are presented as follows.
First, suggestions from your friends can help you to improve work performance, which in turn to lead you to success in career. In the other hand, if you neglect others’ advise when you make mistake, there will be less and less people have the motivation to help you. For example, one of my colleagues was very narcissistic before, and he always believed that he was right. I told him the best way to deal with the criticism was to accept it, but he believed that I envy his talent. It leaded lots of arguments in our team, and he was fired finally. If you want to be a successful man, don’t be irritated or depressed when other give you advice.
Besides, criticism is not only from your friends, but also your enemies criticize you. They enjoy it and always say something bad about you intentionally. Another colleague of mine believes I may be an obstacle to his promotion. He always says backstab me deliberately. It helps me to strengthen the ability to withstand the pressure and let me foster an optimistic personality. When others are saying something bad about you, it is not good for you to keep those things in mind. We should do our best in work to defeat the enemy.
In conclusion, it is a good thing to accept others’ criticism. When your friend wants to help you, just accept it and apology for your shortcoming. When your enemies use criticism to attack you, do your best to prove that they are wrong. I believe if you do so, it will guarantee you a splendid future.

TOEFL listening discussions: Where does this conversation most likely take place?

[Iris87]

In today’s society, we have to face lots of different problems, and it is a dilemma that whether we should accept other’s criticism or not. This issue is aTHE most debated one. Sometimes people may want to help you, but sometimes they may only be jealous about your success. It is easy for average people to reject others’ criticism because nobody wants to feel misinterpreted. Some people believe that a person does not need others' judgments to make him successful. However, I believe we should accept others’ criticism because successFUL people can handle other’s suggestions.MOREOVER and criticism from your enemies can help you develop positive attitude when facing difficulties. Several points of view are presented as follows.

First, suggestions from your friends can help you to improve YOUR work performance, which in turn to leadS you to A successFUL in career. In the other hand, if you neglect others’ advise when you make A mistake, there will be less and less people THAT WOULD have the motivation to help you. For example, one of my colleagues USED TO BE was very narcissistic before, and he always believed that he was right. I told him the best way to deal with the criticism was to accept it, but he believed that I envy his talent. It leaded TO lots of arguments in our team, and he FINALLY was fired finally. If you want to be a successful man, don’t be irritated or depressed when otherS give you advice.

Besides THIS, criticism is not DOES NOT COME only from your friends, but also FROM your enemies AS WELL. They enjoy it and always say something bad about you intentionally. Another colleague of mine believes I may be an obstacle to his promotion. He always says backstab me deliberately. It helps me to strengthen the ability to withstand the pressure and let me foster an optimistic personality. When others are sayingSAY something bad about you, it is not good for you to keep those things in mind. We should do our best in work to defeat the enemy.

In conclusion, it is a good thing to accept others’ criticism. When your friend wants to help you, just accept it and apologyIZE for your shortcoming. When your enemies use criticism to attack you, do your best to prove that they are wrong. I believe if you do so, it will guarantee you a splendid future.

Hey! I tried to correct your essay even though I am not a native speaker and I am preparing for a toefl test too.
I liked very much the variety of different words you use! Try to create simpler sentences to avoid some mistakes. However, I found it a difficult topic so I'll try to write an essay on the same topic too.

[Gter.tw]

Thanks for your help!