TOEFL® test is coming. Please assess my essay. Thanks so much :)

[Bokehaholic]

What are the important qualities of a good son or daughter? Have these qualities changed or remained over time in your culture ? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Being cherished by parents is one of the happiest things that each of us has in this life. Clearly, we feel things are safe and full of love when we are in our family. To reciprocate our parents’ care and education, we have to be good children. Personally, I think the most important qualities that good children should attain are obedience and helpful. However, these qualities have partly changed in my native culture, at which I am quite disappointed.

To begin with, all parents hope that their children will be obedient to their rules and advice, which keep them safe and help establish their good characteristics. Therefore, to be good a son or a daughter , we should heed to our parents instead of ignoring them or answering them back. It is considered immortal and improper when we do such a thing. Also, nobody is perfect. Hence, we should follow our parents’ pieces of advice to overcome our mistakes and to become a better one in our society.

Furthermore, good children should be helpful as well. When we live in a family, we should be responsible for doing some household chores, such as watering the plants, cleaning the floor of our rooms, washing clothes, etc. to help our parents. They have much work to do everyday and thus, our small assistance will help lift parts of the burden on their shoulders. What is more, when we have to stand on our own feet later, we have to do such household chores by ourselves. Hence, if we help our parents by doing small chores now, we may not encounter some problematic situations in the future.

There is a fact that the characteristics of many children in my country have been degenerated. Instead of obeying to their parents, many of them answer back rudely and even scold. For example, there is a family next to me in which the son often argues seriously with his dad. He never admits his fallacy and even says taboo words. His behaviors despair not only his dad but also his neighbors, included myself. Furthermore, more and more children spend much of their time playing violent online games yet do not help their parents with the household chores. Also, they do not care for their parents when they are sick or stressful. The young generation is more and more indifferent to people surrounding them, especially their parents.

All in all, we have to be thankful to our parents for what they have done in our life by behaving kindly, obediently and helpfully. I hope that children will acknowledge the hardship their parents have endured when bring them up in order to behave properly to them.

TOEFL listening discussions: How long has the young man been drinking alcohol?

[Tyyna]

The only mistake I found is: helpful need to be replaced with helpfulness in the second paragraf.
Very impressive essay.
How long does it take to write?

[Bokehaholic]

Oh I see :D
Thanks Tyyna for your assessment !!!! I appreciate it a lot :)

It took me nearly 40 mins to type this essay :D

[Iris87]

There are few mistakes but it's an impressive essay as Tanya said before!
It is so hard to write an essay in 30 minutes. It always takes me longer. Even though I think the above exceeds the 300 words so you need more time.

1. We feel that we are safe or we feel safety
2. I found than contradict is a better choice than "answering back". It's more formal.

[Bokehaholic]

Hello Iris87 again !!!

In TOEFL iBT test, the length is very important. So we have to practice typing fast to have time to prolong our essays :D
I think Contradict is more formal, too. But when I was typing, I didn't think of this word, so I chose "answer back" instead :D

Thanks for your assessment !!! :)