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Some people like doing work by hand. Others prefer using machines.



 
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Please estimate my essay. Why music is important to many people. | knowledge from school or from experience? hope to get your feedback
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Some people like doing work by hand. Others prefer using machines. #1 (permalink) Tue Sep 27, 2011 18:25 pm   Some people like doing work by hand. Others prefer using machines.
 

Hello,
Can anybody correct my essay pleas?
Thank you veru much in advance!

Some people like doing work by hand. Others prefer using machines. Which so you prefer?

While some people prefer doing work by their own hands, I prefer to use a machine, if I can, to save my time, to complete it faster and to enjoy the time I save doing some other activities.

To begin with, sins old times people were trying to lessen and make easy their work.
Nowadays there are many different machines in our household that can help us to complete our everyday tasks easily. Not that long time ago to simply washing the clothes was a very complicated process. Now we can buy a washing machine or go to a Laundromat, and all we need to do - simply load it and add detergent and machine will wash it for us. As benefit we will have some extra time that we can spend as we wish and we wouldn’t be that tired after all.

Furthermore, machines are very durable and can perform their work more times in a row than people do. For example, if I need to copy some studying material I rather will do it with a help of copying machine, because it is faster and more neatly than if I’ll do it with a pen by myself.

Moreover, using some machines, sometimes essential for people heals. For example, friend of mine have an allergy, and by using vacuum cleaner he can not only eliminate allergens, that threatening for his heals, but also do it more effectively. In addition, machines can be extremely useful for old people that lived on their own; they will help with many indoor and outdoor chores.

To sum up with, I like the idea of using machines whenever it is possible, that way I will save some precious time which is olways in demand.

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Tyyna
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Joined: 17 Aug 2011
Posts: 29

Some people like doing work by hand. Others prefer using machines. #2 (permalink) Wed Sep 28, 2011 13:34 pm   Some people like doing work by hand. Others prefer using machines.
 

Can anybody correct my essay pleas?
Tyyna
I'm new here and I like it ;-)


Joined: 17 Aug 2011
Posts: 29

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Some people like doing work by hand. Others prefer using machines. #3 (permalink) Thu Sep 29, 2011 15:56 pm   Some people like doing work by hand. Others prefer using machines.
 

I think that you have a lot of grammar mistakes. Also try to complicate your sentences. i advise you to use transition words to complicate sentences. Moreover, structure is a little bit wrong such as conclusion is very short and etc. PS. I am not a teacher and english is not my mother tongue. I am just Toefl student with 27/30 score. My estimations can be wrong.
MaQa
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Joined: 16 Aug 2011
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Some people like doing work by hand. Others prefer using machines. #4 (permalink) Thu Sep 29, 2011 18:24 pm   Some people like doing work by hand. Others prefer using machines.
 

Tank you MaQa.
Can you point out my mistaks, please?
I found: olways-always
veru-very.
Tyyna
I'm new here and I like it ;-)


Joined: 17 Aug 2011
Posts: 29

Some people like doing work by hand. Others prefer using machines. #5 (permalink) Thu Sep 29, 2011 20:53 pm   Some people like doing work by hand. Others prefer using machines.
 

Tank - should be 'thank'
mistaks - should be 'mistakes'
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Some people like doing work by hand. Others prefer using machines. #6 (permalink) Thu Sep 29, 2011 21:33 pm   Some people like doing work by hand. Others prefer using machines.
 

Thank you Beee )
Tyyna
I'm new here and I like it ;-)


Joined: 17 Aug 2011
Posts: 29

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