Have married and Have been married

[Yankee]

Hi you two blood brothers

It's good to see that you've both got your thinking caps on.

Shall I give you my opinion?

The simple past tense (... meant ... when you said ...) would probably be the most logical here because the sentence was finished and written in the past.

But, because this is a current conversation, you could also use the format that Alan and Jamie both mentioned (... mean ... when you say...)

Most grammar books don't have all of the rules. Most of them have the rules you need most often. Also, it depends on the level of the grammar book (i.e. "beginner", "intermediate", "advanced", etc.)

[Fan of Arabian horses]

Hi Spencer!

I think you?re perfectly right with your highly educated explanation. If you regard to a previous conversation or sentence it might be absolutely correct to say ?you meant?.
It was my simple German character which made me asking: what are the rules. Do you remember my advice to the movie "Bold guys with flying jaloppies"? It is a comedy about a flight race at the beginning of th 19th century. The race was driven by an English newspaper and flight-pioneers from all over the world took place at it. One from every industrial nation and everyone of them showed the character of his nation. As it was an American movie you might guess who won the race.
However, the German flight team was a military group with an officer as header. He always had a military order book in his hand without which he seemed to be unable to use the toilette. Because the German pilot "Rumpelstolz" became ill the officer decided to fly himself and bring the HONOUR to his German Excellency. During the race he lost his order book and crashed down into the Channel of course.
As funny as it is it charactered the German mentality a bit. And that happens to me time by time. If I can?t imagine how anything works I run around like a chicken yelling for help: "Where are the rules? Where are the rules?"

See you later!

Michael

[Alan]

Hi Michael and Spencer,

Both tenses are fine but let's put grammar and rules to one side and look for a moment at an example, which I always find easier to explain a language point with. A group of people are talking and one person says something which is controversial/shocking/unusual or whatever. This remark prompts one of the group to ask for an explanation: they could say: What did you mean by that? Now this is a perfectly calm question and is also a little remote but the person is simply wanting to know why the remark was made. On the other hand they could say: What do you mean by that? Now this is a similar request for information but the tone is more immediate more dramatic and the suggestion behind it is that the questioner wants an answer here and now.

Well, I've tried to explain and hope things are a little clearer.

Alan
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English as a Second Language
You can read my ESL story Well, Hello!

[Fan of Arabian horses]

Hi Amy!

You are faster than the German police allows!

[Jamie (K)]

[Fan of Arabian horses]

Hi You all!

Thank you for all the very interesting posts at this topic! You gave me a really comprehensive impression about rules and usage of the Present Tense and the Past Tense.
Particularly Alan?s latest reply refered to a special usage of the Tenses which I never would have found in my grammar book.
Perhaps -having a look to the view-list- it could be helpful for some other English learners too.
For me, for the moment, is only left to thank you again for all the patience you showed at this topic.

I enjoy towards the next discussion that you allow me to have with you.

Michael