hi, could you please modify this writing for me? (independent writing for TOEFL®)

[Eden_Wild]

question: Should parents and other adult relatives make decisions for their children?

Every Chinese must be familiar with this saying, ‘deviating from elders’ decisions, failures are always waiting in the front’. Admittedly, parents and other adults have more experiences and their advices are seemingly more rational. However, fate is in your own hands, why not lead a life you want by yourself? I think, parents and other adults should not make important decisions for their children.
World is developing, experiences of adults may hardly fit to the brand new world. What they consider right might not be so appropriate at present. Recently, I read a book named ‘Growth’ written by a famous writer in China, Guo Xin. It is about the growing path of the key role, Lee. Like many other parents in China, his father required him to continue his study after graduation from a famous university and so he did. However, after he got his doctor’s degree, he couldn’t find a relatively good job while he was not young any more. I have heard this kind of examples for many times because of the fact that a great amount of parents in China hold the idea - higher degree means better jobs. In old China, like 1900’s, this idea is absolutely right. But nowadays, it is not. The recent fact is that an individual’s success has no definite relation with the educational degrees. Hence, parents’ and other adults’ decisions could be wrong for you.
Even if elders’ decisions are beneficial for your future, is this the choice you want to make? Is it the life you yourself willing to live? As I have grown older and older, an increasingly strong idea emerged in my mind that nothing can be better than doing what I prefer personally. Decisions of our parents are just of their opinions, not ours. Taking myself as an example, my major is RS chosen by my father. But I really don’t like it. I can’t imagine what my life will be like if I will program in front of the computer day and night, deal with odd formulas endlessly. What I like is economics and communicating with different kind of person. Thus, I am sometimes frustrated and unhappy for this. Maybe you will say, ‘you are still young, it is not too late to do what you like’. It is always easier said than done. How can I abandon what I have gained and learned for 6 years? So, elders’ decisions might throw you into a condition not bad, but you don’t like and hard to escape.
What’s more, independence is important in a world full of competition and making decisions by yourself can cultivate your independence. Except for parents and some of your friends, I don’t think others can be relied on in crucial points. As a result, independence is of great significance for your development.
Undoubtedly, advices from parents and other adults are helpful, indeed. But making decision is a totally different story. What should you choose? If you yourself don’t know, who else will?

TOEFL listening lectures: A lecture from an Art History class