Please grade my essay

[Vkaa]

Please grade my essay on "A foreign visitor has only one day to spend in your country. Where should this visitor go on that day? Why?" Use specific reasons and details to support your choice.

Every single country in the whole world has got its own cultural, historical and artistic values. A person who has interest in any of these values and want to understand it properly, then he would like to visit monuments, museums and art galleries in that country. So, when a visitor has only one day to spend in my country, then it is better for him to go to the place where he would get to see and understand most of it. Mysore is a city which has imbibed all the values I have mentioned above and there is no such place better than this for a visitor who has only one day to spend.

First of all, Mysore is situated in the southern part of India and is famous for Mysore Palace. Surrounding this palace, there are many monuments which have been made to commemorate all the Kings, who have ruled south India. These monuments depict detailed life of all these kings.

Second, in some parts of the palace, still there are thrones, staircases and umbrellas made up of gold which shows how wealthy our country was at that time. There are some museums which contain the utensils, cosmetics, transportations and all the other things that are used by Kings and Queens and their family in day today life.

Last but not the least, Mysore Palace is known for the art, especially paintings. If a visitor is interested in knowing the style of art of an artist who is from that era, then visiting this palace is just like celebrating a festival for him. Throughout the walls of the palace, there are paintings of scenes depicting day today life, war, procession etc.

Other than this palace, Mysore is also famous for variety of food, flowers and animals mainly elephants. So a visitor can also visit restaurants to try different food, Gardens and Zoos which are nearby Mysore Palace. In conclusion, only by visiting Mysore, a visitor will understand all the cultural, historical and artistic values of my country India in one day. So, according to me, a foreign visitor should go on to Mysore if he has only one day to spend.

TOEFL listening lectures: A lecture from an American History class

[Eden_Wild]

'A person who has interest in any of these values and want to understand it properly, then he would like to visit monuments, museums and art galleries in that country.'
this sentence is wrong.

in the 3rd paragraph, ' other things that are used by Kings ' 'are' ---- 'were'

[Katty2010]

There are some museums which contain the utensils, cosmetics, transportations and all the other things that WERE used by Kings and Queens and their family in day today life.

Other than this palace, Mysore is also famous for variety of foodS, flowers and animals mainly elephants. So a visitor can also visit restaurants to try different foodS, VISIT gardens and Zoos which are nearby Mysore Palace. In conclusion, only by visiting Mysore, a visitor will understand all the cultural, historical and artistic values of my country India in one day. So, according to me, a foreign visitor should go on to Mysore

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Great essay! 8/10 Try avoiding silly mistakes. :)
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Just a confused kid... trying to live through twists & turns of life!
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[Ngoyen]

topic: children should do housework?
in the first place , what I put in my priority is health development. The fact is that doing housework will help children keep fit. When they clean the floor , cook, wash the clothes . This will fire driectly lipits in body, intensify strengthen of muscles and avoid many disease. More interestingly, housework make them more comfortable . They musn't think about the excercises and brain storm. They can listen to the music while working. Indeed, housework will improve their health.

[Vkaa]

Thank you so much Eden and Katty. I will appreciate your help and will try not to do these mistakes again.

Thank you
Vkaa