help me with this essay

[Linhshan]

Soon, people who cannot work with computer will be disadvantaged. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this idea.
Recently, some people hold the opinion that people who cannot use computer will be destitute. From my point of view, I totally agree with this statement because of several reasons.
First of all, employees who know how to use the computer will have some advantages in their jobs such as higher salary and promotion. Today, there are a lot of computer programs, such as Microsoft Office, AutoCAD…They are such the useful tools that employees who can work with a personal computer in order to produce a lot of productions faster and better. Undoubtedly, they are appropriated by their employers and surely receive a higher income or get a promotion soon.
Secondly, in my opinion, the computer plays the role as a mass media in the home for human not only to get news but also to entertainment. Thanks to development of the World Wide Web, nowadays, people can search and obtain some hot news, which is broadcasted by CNN, BBC…, easier than they did before with several mouse clicks. In addition, it is very simple for people to refresh themselves after a hard working day by enjoying their favorite films as well as music bands on a connected personal computer. It is clear that people who can work with computer will be easy to get news in all over the world and to relax also.
In conclusion, the computer is becoming the popular device in human life. Personally, I think that a person who cannot work with computer will be disadvantaged because of its useful functions.

TOEFL listening lectures: A university lecture on Animal Behavior by a professor of Biology

[Katty2010]

Recently, some people hold the opinion that people who cannot use computer will be destitute. From my point of view, I totally agree with this statement because of several reasons.

First of all, employees who know how to use the computer will have some advantages in their jobs such as higher salary and promotion. Today, there are a lot of computer programs, such as Microsoft Office, Auto-CAD AND etc.They are such the useful tools that FOR employees who can work with a personal computer in order to produce a lot of productions faster and better. Undoubtedly, they are apprECIATED by their employers and surely receive a higher income or get a promotion soon.

Secondly, in my opinion, the computer plays the role as a mass media in the home for human not only to get news but also to ATTAIN entertainment. Thanks to development of the World Wide Web, nowadays, people can search and obtain BREAKING news, which is broadcasted by CNN, BBC AND OTHER NEWS CHANNELS.…, easILY than they did before with several mouse clicks. In addition, it is very simple for people to refresh themselves after a hard working day by enjoying their favorite films as well as music bands on a connected personal computer. It is clear that people who can work with computer ARE ABLE TO ACCESS will be easy to get news FROM all over the world and to relax also.

In conclusion, the computer is becoming the popular device in human life. Personally, I think that a person who cannot work with computer will be disadvantaged because of its useful functions.

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Nice essay. Got to work on sentence structure and reading. 7/10
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