Please help me out and correct my essay~ I would really appreciate it.

[Momo1111]

Playing computer games is a waste of time. Children should not be allowed to play them.

Almost all children in the world like playing computer games. There are pros and cons for children to play computer games. However, I found it hard to agree that children should not be allowed to play them at all. Computer games designed for children are educational. Also, parents can benefit from letting their children are playing computer games.

To begin with, modern computer games that designed for children can be very educational. It is not only pleasing to play, but intellectually challenging. In this sense, children can improve their calculation skills, creativity, and logical reasoning. For instance, there is a game designed for children called "Escape the room". To win the game, one should analyze the room and try to find hints then combine their findings to find a way out of the room. It is clear that children can exercise their brain while playing such games. In contrast, without computer, it is impossible to exercise children's brain in just one game. On top of this, children solve other problems by association what they learnt earlier. Playing computer games actually endows children with abilities to answer questions, solve problems, and think in a similar manner. All those benefits can be easily obtained by playing computer games.

Also, parents can benefit from letting children playing computer games. In the modern world, parents are under a lot of pressures from both personal life and work. By having their children playing computer games for a while, they can relax a little or use the time to do some housework. On top of that, Children do not need to be supervised while playing computer games unlike they play outside, which requires their parents to constantly pay attention to. In addition to this, parenting can be easier since parents can tell children they have to finish their homework before playing computer games. To some extent, it could be a relief for parents to let children play computer games.


To sum up, children should not be banned to play computer games. Playing games is a human nature. Playing computer games is just another way to play. With all the benefits, children should play some computer games, not only it benefits the children directly, but benefits parents.

TOEFL listening lectures: To which entertainment does the lecturer not relate Greek drama?

[Momo1111]

I wrote this around 25 min and did not refine it at all.... just want to know where and how should I improve it. And what is the possible score? Thx

[Iris87]

[Momo1111]

Thanks a lot. And what score do you think I may get?

[Andy2012]

I wrote for this essay in almost 30min, running out of time ...