Please. correct my essay!!I will take ibt toeft next month(COMMENTs_and grade_tks

[Phucthai]

2.Students at universities often have a choice of places to live. They may choose to live in university dormitories, or they may choose to live in apartments in the community. Compare the advantages of living in university housing with the advantages of living in an apartment in the community. Where would you prefer to live? Give reasons for your preference.
It is evident that college students have rights to choose whether to live in dormitory or in apartments. Although, it is convenient for students to live in apartments, living in dormitory seems to bring more benefits for students than living in apartments.
On the one hand, it is obvious that living in apartments can bring a significant number of advantages for students. Firstly, they can have a quiet place in order to do what they want. For example, they can play music loudly without caring about their roommates when living alone in their apartments. Secondly, living conditions in apartments can be better than in dormitory. As a evidence of this, they can rarely face problems about fixture in their apartments. It is apparent that students can focus on their study completely when living in their own apartments.
On the other hand, living in dormitory can become a wiser choice for college students. The first thing is that they can receive the help from seniors and their roommates when they have troubles in life or their study. The second thing is that they can widen their contacts and establish relationships since they can meet many people in dormitory. As a result, these relationships can help them in their jobs after graduation. The most important thing is that living in dormitory can be cheaper than living in apartments.
All things considered, despite the fact that students can have freedom when living in their apartment, it is obvious that living in dormitory brings more positive effects on student life. From my point of view, it is better for students to live in dormitory.

TOEFL listening lectures: When was Angkor Wat constructed?

[Katty2010]

It is evident that college students have rights to choose whether to live in dormitory or in apartments. Although, it is convenient for students to live in apartments, living in dormitory seems to bring more benefits for students than living in apartments.

On the one hand, it is obvious that living in apartments can bring a significant number of advantages for students. Firstly, they can have a quiet place in order to do what they want. For example, they can play music loudly without caring about their roommates when living alone in their apartments.

Secondly, living conditions in apartments can be better than in dormitory. As a evidence of this, they can rarely face problems about fixture in their apartments. It is apparent that students can focus on their study completely when living in their own apartments.

On the other hand, living in dormitory can become a wiser choice for college students. The first thing is that they can receive the help from seniors and their roommates when they have troubles in life or their study. The second thing is that they can widen their contacts and establish relationships since they can meet many people in dormitory. As a result, these relationships can help them in their jobs after graduation. The most important thing is that living in dormitory can be cheaper than living in apartments.

All things considered, despite the fact that students can have freedom when living in their apartment, it is obvious that living in dormitory brings more positive effects on student'S life. From my point of view, it is better for students to live in dormitory.

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Nice essay. Read often so you can write better. 7.5/10
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Just a confused kid... trying to live through twists & turns of life!
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[Phucthai]

Thanks for editting my essay and your advice, Katty2010 :) D: