experts please help me correct it.

[Jed]

In many countries, the proportion of elderly people is increasing. Do you think the positive effects of this trend outweigh its negative influence on society?

In today’s modern world, the aging problem is a universal issue for a number of
countries such as Russia, Japan, China and etc. People live longer than before due to better living condition and advanced medical measures. As a result, the proportion of elderly people is on the upward trend. Some people argue that this trend affects our society negatively . With regards to this, I agree with these people.
Firstly, for family, the basic unit of our society, the longer ages of old people mean extra burden over their children’s shoulders. More specifically, their children have no choice but to spend too much time on attending their elderly parents when they are ill which should have been dedicated exclusively to their studies and jobs. Besides, they have to take the responsibility to pay for the expensive medical cost. So it also brings them financial problem.
Secondly, it is undeniable that the longer age has direct connection with government expense. Every year, the municipal government spares a high proportion of budget to dispatch as pension and retirement payment, which actually come from each taxpayer, everyone of us. With it, the government should have input in construction and development of infrastructure, national defense, educational system.
Despite that, we should realize the pivotal contributions that old generation makes to our society. The elderly people is an indispensible treasure for the youth who have to grow up from repeat failure that old people have went through.
On the whole, I think the negative effect of aging phenomenon outweighs it’s positive one for our society. The more longer age, the more burden and expense for most families and governments, the much barrier for future development.


TOEFL listening lectures: A lecture from an arts class (2)