hi, could you please rate my essay?

[Isha89]

reliance on technology is reducing humans' capability to think for themselves.

Humans started evolving from primitive species many thousands of years ago. "Homo sapiens" or humans possessed many distinct attributes that set them apart and above from other species. one of the features that was responsible for such a stark difference between humans and animals was their high level intelligence in solving conundrums and the ability to create and use tools. The first set of simple tools was used to create more complex ones and so on until thousands and thousands of years later we were blessed with one of mans greatest inventions of all time - the computer.

The claim states that the ability of humans to think for themselves will deteriorate due to their reliance on technology to solve problems. i do not agree with this statement. throughout history humans have shown that when presented with a problem, they come up with a way to solve it often with the help of technology. the romans are widely recognized as being one of the most technologically advanced civilizations of the ancient world. the structures they built defy the imaginations of architects around the world to this date. structures like the colosseum and the roman aqua ducts were only made due to the romans possessing both intelligence and technology. the presence of technology did not in any way harm their thinking capacity, in fact it only served to ameliorate it.

Humans have used technology in countless ways. today almost every one in the world is dependent on technology for their daily lives to proceed smoothly. technology has only made our life simpler. we use technology in a positive way, to help us to solve further problems. the fact that we are able to use such advanced technology shows that far from having reduced thinking capacity, we have increased our problem solving capabilities. sending a man into outer space would never have been possible without technology.

Some people feel that too much dependance on technology is a bad thing and people are becoming slow. sure, technology has made some people lazy, but we cannot say that about everyone.thus i feel that to say that our capacity to think for ourselves has reduced due to our dependance on technology is too much of a blanket claim.

[Amu07]

Your 2nd para should be your first one. As it states your position as an intro para should be.

words like 'i feel' are strongly not recommended. Don't give out personal opinions.

(off the topic, i was wondering, if Romans did all the major breakthroughs, did Indians learn from them before Romans invented things :D... please have some more appreciation for our own history :)