We put keyboards in the computers.

[Vectra]

Hello,

This is a homework assignment I have just received. Some parts of it sound funny, so I have made some corrections. As the text deals with computers, could you tell me if my corrections are OK please?

Dear Mrs Julie Marston,

I am writing to inform you that we have just received 200 keyboards which we ordered from your company. But after testing these products (them), our quality control department found a large percentage of the keyboards were faulty. The main problem is the absence of drivers for the keyboards. We put (connected) keyboards in (to) the computers and (but the) computers don't recognize your keyboard (the keyboards). We have checked all connections from the keyboard to the computer making sure they are fitted well, but it didn't help. Multimedia keyboard buttons and Internet keyboard buttons are not working. The main way you work with data on your computer is through the keyboard. So could you provide us with drivers as soon as possible or contact with me to find a solution. Otherwise we will return your products with full repayment (and demand a full refund) .

Yours sincerely,
Purchasing Manager
Kim Miguel

Thank you for the time and help.

[Beeesneees]

I'd be happy with 'these products'. I don't feel it needs to be changed to 'them'.

I'd also be happy with 'your keyboard' in this context.

'We have checked all connections' is okay but an improvement would be '...making sure they were fitted well'. If you remove 'have' as you suggest, then the 'are' also needs to be removed: 'We checked all connections from the keyboard to the computer making sure they fitted well'
I would query the use of 'all' in this sentence, simply because there is usually only one connection from a keyboard to a computer.

The multimedia keyboard buttons and Internet keyboard buttons...'

The main way you deal with data on your computer is through the keyboard' - I dislike this sentence. It is not in keeping with the rest of the letter (I'm sure the keyboard manufacturer does not need to be told about 'his' keyboard!) I suggest:
I am sure you appreciate that the primary data input device for a computer is a keyboard, so please could you provide us with drivers...

I agree with the other corrections you have made.
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Cheers m' dears!