Please correct my essay...Thank you!:) People should take a fascinating job?

[Piscisfei]

People should take a secure job immediately when finding one instead of
waiting for the job that they find more satisfying

No one can deny the indispensible role job and earning play in individuals’ daily life, which make people devote their utmost, not to mention doing a job that they do not really appreciate. After all, as a normal person, everyone needs a secure job to satisfy their basic living. However, as far as I am concerned, a fascinating job itself seems more significant, when compared with doing a normal job alone.

Admittedly, we could never punch on those who struggle to obtain a secure position for the sake of making money for their living. As a matter of fact, life is so cruel in our time, and sometimes we are less likely to get what we want. However, it is still our choice to pursue a spiritual enjoyment, rather than a material life. Jobs could be fabulous both psychologically and physically if we stick to earning less and working harder, it is no doubt that we will discover a new world with a substantial and sound heart when we abandon all the flashiness eventually.

What’s more, individuals are more likely to maintain a nice mood when choosing a job they are really into, which on the other hand directly triggers to a positive attitude towards work, even an enthusiasm for a job. If people have a passion for what they do, efficiency improves, productivity enhances and maybe breakthroughs conducted during the process. Take Thomas Edison as an instance, his inventions are so incredible they thoroughly changed our world. If he lacked an interest or if he was forced to do some ordinary secure jobs to earn money, he seems less possible to become so successful all over the world. Achievements only exist when individuals enjoy what they do, otherwise their work is merely limited to a settled schedule or daily routine, nothing special.

Beside, when do a desirable task, people are less likely to get bored and feel tired, while dull job always upset people. Time goes by, continuously repeating a dull work every day becomes meaningless and makes individuals feel annoyed, leading to a series of issues, like exhausted, depression, even some mental problem. As a consequence, people are supposed to choose what they like, or they may feel unhappy from the bottom of heart.

Overall, it is a high time that when individuals choose their future career, they are supposed to select the area their interest lies, other than a secure job to guarantee their living.

Hellow, it is the first time that I am here. Please correct my essay, thank you for your help!:)

TOEFL listening lectures: A university lecture by a professor of History (2)

[Katty2010]

No one can deny the indispensible role job and earning play in individuals’ daily life, which make people devote their utmost, not to mention doing a job that they do not really appreciate. After all, as a normal person, everyone needs a secure job to satisfy their basic living. However, as far as I am concerned, a fascinating job itself seems more significant, when compared with doing a normal job alone.

Admittedly, we could never punch on those who struggle to obtain a secure position for the sake of making money for their living. As a matter of fact, life is so cruel in our time, and sometimes we are less likely to get what we want. However, it is still our choice to pursue a spiritual enjoyment, rather than a material life. Jobs could be fabulous both psychologically and physically if we stick to earning less and working harder, it is no doubt that we will discover a new world with a substantial and sound heart when we abandon all the flashiness eventually.

What’s more, individuals are more likely to maintain a nice mood when choosing a job they are really into, which on the other hand directly triggers to a positive attitude towards work, even an enthusiasm for a job. If people have a passion for what they do, efficiency improves, productivity enhances and maybe breakthroughs conducted during the process. Take Thomas Edison as an instance, his inventions are so incredible they thoroughly changed our world. If he lacked an interest or if he was forced to do some ordinary secure jobs to earn money, he seems less possible to become so successful all over the world. Achievements only exist when individuals enjoy what they do, otherwise their work is merely limited to a settled schedule or daily routine, nothing special.

Beside, whILE doING a desirable task, people are less likely to get bored and feel tired, while dull job always upsetS people. Time goes by, continuously repeating a dull work every day becomes meaningless and makes individuals feel annoyed, leading to a series of issues, like exhaustION, depression, even some mental problemS. As a consequence, people are supposed to choose what they like, or they may feel unhappy from the bottom of heart.

Overall, it is a high time that when individuals choose their future career, they are supposed to select the area WHERE their interest lies, other than a secure job to guarantee their living.

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8.5/10 Good Essay! :)
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Just a confused kid... trying to live through twists & turns of life!
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Everything Is Temporary!

[Piscisfei]

Hi katty,
Thank you for your help!:)