Please correct my essay. :))

[Giraych]

TOPIC:
How do movies or television influence people’s behavior? Use reasons
and specific examples to support your answer.

​No one can deny the fact that television is one of the most pervasive instruments of the media. Television and movies have undoubtedly become an indispensable part of our lives. As a tool for media of social communication they have enourmous influence everywhere. For that reason, it is not an uncommon sight for television and movies to have a tremendous impact on people's behaviour, both positive and yet negative impact.

Beyond the shadow of doubt, television is the most effective means of providing information from around the globe. It has the power to educate and increase the intellectual level of groups from infants to the elderly via didactic programs. These programs can namely be documentaries, cartoons and news programs. Furthermore, it enhances the cultural awareness of the audiance provinding one with knowledge about other countries and their cultural diversities. Thusly, movies and television may be considered as tools for fighting racism and prejudices that stigmatize our modern societies.

However, the disadvantages of television outweigh its beneficial purposes. Television and movies can be used as devious means by different political parties in order for them to achieve their goals. Documentaries and political commercials target vulnerable groups such as teenagers so as to give birth to opinionated people and fanatics. Moreover, television can also be held resposible for antisocial behavior of these certain groups and as well as the destruction of the fundamental socio-economic bonds between societies. As an additional point, racial and ethnical differences are underscored , and ethical and moral problems are raised which consequently lead to corrupt controversies among societies.

Secondly, the plethora of scenes ,that are shown on screen , are mostly violent and vulgar and affect people of every age, including children. The vulnerability of children can make them associate with what they see and search for similarities between these characters. Therefrom, children usually become emotinally unstable and negative emotions , for example depression, are arisen.

To conclude, as educational as television and movies may be, there are numerous risks that affect people's behaviour negatively. Only when television and movies censor those violent and vulgar scenes and are freed from political influence, will people be able to benefit from these instruments.

​​Thanks for taking the time to read my essay. :)
it is approximately 350 words. I wrote this one in 40 mins. I know I need to improve my writing skill. I'd appreciate if you gave me some tips in order for me to improve my writing skills. thank you. :)

TOEFL listening discussions: What is the purpose of this meeting?

[Sobia Aslam]

Giraych,I think u are also planning for taking the toefl like me. I think you should paste your essay in some grammer checker software.I am using two of them. One is "instant grammar checker" and the other is " white smoke ".They are really useful. One good thing is u r really good in using vocabulary.
I think we can help out each other. I need much improvement in speaking. I hope u will help me as well. If u can give me your skype id.We really can help out each other.thanks.

[Beeesneees]

If you are planning to take the ToEFL, then I suggest you get into the habit of always writing correct English, Sobia Aslam.

you, not u
grammar, not grammer
Titles should be capitalised.
are, not r
_________________
Cheers m' dears!

[Giraych]

you are right. :) We, the new generation, take everything a little slightly. We should be more serious. :) Could you please correct my essay? I skanned once again and i think i have a few mistakes. Typos actually. :)

[Sobia Aslam]

Thank you for your advice. I will keep it in my mind from now onwards.