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converting a formal letter to an informal letter



 
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converting a formal letter to an informal letter #1 (permalink) Sat Oct 29, 2011 8:00 am   converting a formal letter to an informal letter
 

Hi everybody,
Please help me to convert the following formal letter to an informal letter. each sentence that you think is formal and can be converted to an informal sentence, suggest me the informal sentence please.
Thanks a million.


Dear Mr. Smith,

"Talented Developers"

I wish to apply for the above post, advertised in your website.

Currently I am working in a new small software company,
SCORMExperts, that specializes in consultancy in design
and implementation of Run-Time Service and Authoring Tool
and consultancy in standardization field of Learning Management
Systems based on SCORM.

Since I started here I have been the only full-time employee
analyzing the specification and concepts of SCORM. I have been
at SCORMExperts for 4 years, and have learnt a great deal, but
there is no longer the scope to use all my knowledge and experience.

I look forward to your reply.

Yours sincerely,

Mohsen Jafari
Mj_Developer
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converting a formal letter to an informal letter #2 (permalink) Sat Oct 29, 2011 8:44 am   converting a formal letter to an informal letter
 

What is the purpose in making the letter more informal? Job advertisements are usually supposed to be formal so it would be very difficult to find the correct tone for an informal letter without knowing the purpose and situation. It's not as if you are writing to a family member about a holiday.
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converting a formal letter to an informal letter #3 (permalink) Sat Oct 29, 2011 8:49 am   converting a formal letter to an informal letter
 

Yes. You are right.
I'm an English student and my teacher asked me to do this and it is just for learning purpose that how can we right an informal sentence.

Just help me to converting this letter to an informal letter.

Thanks a lot.
Mj_Developer
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Joined: 26 Nov 2009
Posts: 230

converting a formal letter to an informal letter #4 (permalink) Sat Oct 29, 2011 8:53 am   converting a formal letter to an informal letter
 

Hi Mj_Developer,

It does seem an odd task to be given to do by your teacher. I suppose i can just about see the point. Perhaps it would be better to start afresh and simply write an informal letter of application rather than carry out a 'conversion'.

Alan
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converting a formal letter to an informal letter #5 (permalink) Sat Oct 29, 2011 9:27 am   converting a formal letter to an informal letter
 

Hi Mj,

What was the homework task exactly? Was it to convert this particular letter or to write an informal letter? Can you choose your own topic or does it have to be a letter of application?
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converting a formal letter to an informal letter #6 (permalink) Sat Oct 29, 2011 9:48 am   converting a formal letter to an informal letter
 

Thank you very much for your help Beeesneees

Actually, in the previous session all students have to write a formal letter (with their own topic) and for the next session we should convert the sentences of the formal letter to informal sentences.
Mj_Developer
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Joined: 26 Nov 2009
Posts: 230

converting a formal letter to an informal letter #7 (permalink) Sat Oct 29, 2011 10:03 am   converting a formal letter to an informal letter
 

It owuld probably have been easier to convert an informal letter into a more formal one, but it seems you have no choice in the matter and have to use this letter.

Unfortunately I'm not sure exactly what level of informality your teacher would accept.

To begin with you need to look at the beginning and ending.
'Dear Mr Smith' is suitable for both a formal and an informal letter, but you could make it more informal by using a first name instead of Mr Smith.
Similarly 'Yours sincerely' is already less formal than 'Yours faithfully', but you could make it more informal again by using 'Regards' instead.

Then you need to make the body of the letter more chatty. Imagine you know the person very well.

Give it a go and post your attempt for review if you wish. I'm not prepared to completely do it for you as you have now explained that it is homework - your teacher will expect you to do it, and rightly so. You won't learn how to write informal sentences if you simply copy what someone else has written.
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converting a formal letter to an informal letter #8 (permalink) Sat Oct 29, 2011 10:05 am   converting a formal letter to an informal letter
 

Ok. I will post pack. Thanks a million.
Mj_Developer
I'm here quite often ;-)


Joined: 26 Nov 2009
Posts: 230

converting a formal letter to an informal letter #9 (permalink) Sun Oct 30, 2011 11:08 am   converting a formal letter to an informal letter
 

I have written my informal letter. Please correct my mistakes. Thank you.

Hi Mike,

I would like to have an interview with you about the ad in
your website that says you need to a new developer in your
company.

As you know, I'm currently working in a new small software
company, SCORMExperts, that specializes in consultancy in design and
implementation of Run-Time Service and Learning Management Systems
and consultancy in standardization of them based on SCORM.

Since I started here I've been a full-time employee analyzing concept
and specifications of SCORM, and have learnt many things, but
I think there's no the scope to use all my knowledge and
experiences any longer.

I hope to hear from you soon.
Yours,

Mohsen
Mj_Developer
I'm here quite often ;-)


Joined: 26 Nov 2009
Posts: 230

converting a formal letter to an informal letter #10 (permalink) Sun Oct 30, 2011 11:32 am   converting a formal letter to an informal letter
 

You've done a good job with that difficult task.

There are a couple of small errors I've corrected, plus some further suggestions below. Please discard the new suggestions if you don't like them. Also, if you wished to make it even more informal, instead of requesting an 'interview' with Mike, you could use 'chat' instead:
I would like to have a chat with you about...

I would like to have an interview with you about the ad in your website that says you need to a new developer in your company.

As you know, I'm currently working in a new small software company, SCORMExperts, that specializes in consultancy in the design and implementation of Run-Time Service and Learning Management Systems and consultancy in the standardization of those systems based on SCORM.

Since I started here I've been a full-time employee responsible for analyzing concepts and specifications of SCORM, and have learnt many things, but
I think I've reached as high as I can go here and I don't feel I have the scope to use all my knowledge and experiences, so I'm looking for a position that would stretch my abilities further. I think that perhaps working as a developed in your company would be ideal and I'd like to tell you about some of my experiences and ideas and hear what you think..

I hope to hear from you soon.
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converting a formal letter to an informal letter #11 (permalink) Sun Oct 30, 2011 12:52 pm   converting a formal letter to an informal letter
 

WoW!

I don't know how can I thank you Beeesneees.

Thank you very much.
I love you Beeesneees.
Mj_Developer
I'm here quite often ;-)


Joined: 26 Nov 2009
Posts: 230

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