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Please correct my eassy. Thanks!



 
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Please correct my eassy. Thanks! #1 (permalink) Sun Nov 06, 2011 18:04 pm   Please correct my eassy. Thanks!
 

This is the first time I write down a essay. please, help me and show me specific mistake. Anyway, thank you very very much...

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The topic: How do movies or television influence people’s behavior? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer.

Nowadays, television and movies are extremely common in our daily life. Obviously, everything has two aspects: negative and positive. Movies and television is also like that, they bring to us advantage and disadvantage which influence our behavior.

Movies and television will be made you are unhealthy, both physically and mentally. In cases, when you stay in front of television without activities, you will feel weary and that is one of many causes of obesity and overweight. For that reason, scientists recommend people should watch maximum two hours, after that they should stand up and go around. Moreover, our mentally will influence if you watch for a long time, especially with children. Now, on television and internet have many violent and sexual movies. When we watch them, our brain gradually recognizes that violence and sex are regular. They are not wrong. And, this problem become dangerous when you follow them without thinking.

On the other hand, television and movies also have many advantages. They give us a window to go to the world. We can watch scenery from great wall in China to Eiffel in France, from Kheops in Egypt to Liberty Enlightening the World in American or whatever we want. However, with me television and movies have another advantage. That is learning, television has provided many English channels what help me improve listening and speaking skill.

Finally, television and movies are not negative. They are just negative when you use it wrong and cannot control yourself.

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Anhtu91
New Member


Joined: 06 Nov 2011
Posts: 6
Location: Hanoi, Vietnam

Please correct my eassy. Thanks! #2 (permalink) Tue Nov 08, 2011 11:34 am   Please correct my eassy. Thanks!
 

Nowadays, television and movies are extremely common in our daily life. Obviously, everything has two aspects: negative and positive. Movies and television is also like that, they bring to us advantage and disadvantage which influence our behavior.

FIRSTLY I THINK SPENDING MORE TIME IN FRONT OF TELEVISION WATCHING MOVIES AND SHOWS EFFECTS YOUR HEALTH PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY. Movies and television will be made you are unhealthy, both physically and mentally. In cases, when you stay in front of television without activitY, you will feel weary and that is one of many causes of obesity and overweight. For that reason, scientists recommend people should watch maximum two hours, after that they should stand up and go around. Moreover, Your mental HEALTH will GET influenceD if you watch for a long time, especially with children. Now A DAYS, on television and internet THERE ARE have many violent and sexual movies. When we watch them, our brain gradually recognizes that violence and sex are regular. They are not wrong. And, this problem become dangerous when you follow them without thinking.

On the other hand, television and movies also have many advantages. They give us a window to go to the world. We can watch scenery from great wall in China to Eiffel TOWER in France, from Kheops in Egypt to Liberty Enlightening the World in America or whatever we want. However, with me television and movies have another advantage AND That is learninG. Television has provided many English channels whICH help me improve listening and speaking skillS.

Finally, television and movies are not negative. They are just negative when you use it wrong and cannot control yourself.

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Please correct my eassy. Thanks! #3 (permalink) Tue Nov 08, 2011 15:42 pm   Please correct my eassy. Thanks!
 

Thanks a lot. Anyone else want to share advice for me? Please sharing your opinion.
Anhtu91
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Joined: 06 Nov 2011
Posts: 6
Location: Hanoi, Vietnam

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