Please help me check this essay. Thanks :D.

[Glassy_Rose]

Many people say that the only way to guarantee getting a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work.
Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.

It is a fact that everyone needs to have a stable career, which depends largely on the qualifications each person achieves. However, some people prefer working as soon as they finish studying at high school in order to enrich experience. This point has many arguments that merit consideration.

Apparently, we draw a wealth of invaluable experience from working. For example: if we work as waiters, we can learn how to serve other people quickly and respond to their requests politely. The chances are that we will improve our counting skills considerably as accountants working for department stores. More importantly, learning working skills helps us to prepare carefully for our career in the long run, because all of them are in great demand from employers. In addition, Lectures at university may turn out to be realistic and more lively with our first hand experience. In particular, you will presumably not find it difficult to understand some technical terms or solve practical problems.

Apart from gaining experience, developing the ability to work efficiently is another significant benefit when we start working after school. That is, we will be trained to be more responsible for our tasks, such as going to work on time. Eventually, we will become more punctual and industrious. Some students often cannot get accustomed to the pressure of work as well as competitive colleagues at the beginning. Therefore, it is advisable for them to look for a chance of experiencing working environment in advance.

Nevertheless, there are comparative disadvantages for young workers. It is unlikely that they will work for big companies on account of their lack of university degrees. Some people may be inadequate to study at some universities because they forget some basic knowledge at high school . These difficulties are avoidable, provided that we put practical experience above salary.

In conclusion, advantages appear to outweigh disadvantages if we choose to work after graduating from high school. Having first hand experience is highly recommended to pave the way for our success in the future.

TOEFL listening discussions: How many chemicals are required for the girl's experiment?

[Katty2010]

It is a fact that everyone needs to have a stable career, which depends largely on the qualifications each person achieves. However, some people prefer working as soon as they finish studying at high school in order to enrich experience. This point has many arguments that merit consideration.

Apparently, we draw a wealth of invaluable experience from working. For example: if we work as waiters, we can learn how to serve other people quickly and respond to their requests politely. The chances are that we will improve our counting skills considerably as accountants working for department stores. More importantly, learning working skills helps us to prepare carefully for our career in the long run, because all of them are in great demand from employers. In addition, Lectures at university may turn out to be realistic and more lively with our first hand experience. In particular, you will presumably not find it difficult to understand some technical terms or solve practical problems.

Apart from gaining experience, developing the ability to working efficiently is another significant benefit when we start working after school. That is, we will be trained to be more responsible for our tasks, such as going to work on time. Eventually, we will become more punctual and industrious. Some students often cannot get accustomed to the pressure of work as well as competitive colleagues at the beginning. Therefore, it is advisable for them to look for a chance of experiencing working environment in advance.

Nevertheless, there are comparative disadvantages for young workers. It is unlikely that they will work for big companies on account of their lack of university degrees. Some people may be inadequate to study at some universities because they forget some basic knowledge at high school . These difficulties are avoidable, provided that we put practical experience above salary.

In conclusion, advantages appear to outweigh disadvantages if we choose to work after graduating from high school. Having first hand experience is highly recommended to pave the way for our success in the future.

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[Glassy_Rose]

Thank you very much, Katty2010! Your remark is really helpful! :D