Please review my essay!-The Advantages and Disadvantages of Being a Part-time St

[Rovkon]

Did you have want to be a part-time student during your studying process? Some people may think it is a stupid activity.But some people need be part-time students for some reasons.They have to earn their tuitions on their owns.They have to earn their allowances by theirselves.Or they want to have particular social experience by being part-time students.Fairly it may make them pay for what they do.Part-time students are also able to gain someting which students who don't have part-time jobs never have.
Students who have part-time jobs need to spare their time for working.They have less time to study and own less leisure time.Beside focusing on their homework,they need to pay their attention to their work performance.After school, they still have to work.The job which they have may make them exhausted.Althoug they are bone-tired,they have no choic but accomplishing their homework.According to this reason ,some teahcers think that these students cannot get better grades and learn well if they have part-time jobs.If they want to have greater grades, they should cut back on their resting time or sleeping time.But it will make them unhealthy in life or sleepy during their classes.
However students who have part-time jobs can get different experiences.Besides school fellows,they can meet a variety of people whose jobs are all different.These people may have influence on these students' furtures. They may give these students many kinds of opinions which part-time students can refer to.Then part-time students can get different interests from these opinions or their part-time jobs .They may get useful information for their furture.
Whether you agree that students can have part-time jobs or not.Some students have to work to pay for their tuitions or their living.All they have to do is arranging their time properly.It can make them do everything well.Part-time students are "students" essentially so they can not abandon their school work to make their living.They should have correct concept or they may be suspended from school.

TOEFL listening discussions: Why does the student need money?

[Rovkon]

So sad!I think that my essay is so bad that no one can review it.

[Katty2010]

Did you have want to be a part-time student during your studying process? Some people may think it is a stupid activity.But some people need be part-time students for some reasons.They have to earn their tuitions on their owns.They have to earn their allowances by theirselves.Or they want to have particular social experience by being part-time students.Fairly it may make them pay for what they do.Part-time students are also able to gain someting which students who don't have part-time jobs never have.

Students who have part-time jobs need to spare their time for working.They have less time to study and own less leisure time. Beside focusing on their homework,they need to pay their attention to their work performance. After school, they still have to work.The job which they have may make them exhausted. Althoug they are bone-tired,they have no choicE but accomplishing their homework. According to this reason ,some teahcers think that these students cannot get better grades and learn well if they have part-time jobs. If they want to have greater grades, they should cut back on their resting time or sleeping time.But it will make them unhealthy in life or sleepy during their classes.

However students who have part-time jobs can get different experiences.Besides school fellows,they can meet a variety of people whose jobs are all different.These people may have influence on these students' furtures. They may give these students many kinds of opinions which part-time students can refer to.Then part-time students can get different interests from these opinions or their part-time jobs .They may get useful information for their furture.

Whether you agree that students can have part-time jobs or not.Some students have to work to pay for their tuitions or their living.All they have to do is arranging their time properly.It can make them do everything well.Part-time students are "students" essentially so they can not abandon their school work to make their living.They should have correct concept or they may be suspended from school.

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Nice essay. 7/10
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