Please rate my essay :)

[Karnwadee]

Hi everyone,please help me rate my essay.
I'm sure that every comment will benefit my skill.
Thanks in advance.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People should read only those books which are about real events, real person and established facts?

There are many kind of literature such as fiction, real event ,biography and many more. Some people like to read fiction which is not based on reality, while some people like to read something real or something which based on fact. From my point of view, I don’t concur with the statement that people should read only books which are about real events, real people or established facts for the following reasons.

To begin with, some fiction can relief people’s stress because some writers try to add humorous story so that the readers enjoy the story. For instance, When I feel blue from the exam, I don’t want to read economic news or any other serious books so I would prefer to read comic to relief my stress.

Secondly, reading fiction can create people’s imagination. Some characters or something in the fiction don’t exist in reality, thus the readers have to imagine those things to understand the story. Harry Potter is the best example of this point, the readers have to use their imagination to think about Quiddish, which is the famous sport in the magic world, because it doesn’t really exist in our world and if we don’t use our imagination, we will unable to understand the whole story. Moreover, reading fiction can benefit the children development , children unable to read the difficult or complex story, thus the fiction is the first step to improve reading skill of children. for example, it’s no doubt that the children can’t read the economic news so we should provide the basic stories such as sleeping beauty or snow white to children ,so that they can read these stories themselves and develop their reading skill.

To sum up, it’s not necessary to read only the books which are about real events, real people or established facts due to the benefits of fiction which are reducing stress and imagination creation.

TOEFL listening lectures: What is one problem with contribution approach?

[Bartamas]

Hi Karnwadee,

Your essay was terrific, I mean it. You should maybe extend that paragraph ("To begin with, some fiction can relief people’s stress because some writers try to add humorous story so that the readers enjoy the story. For instance, When I feel blue from the exam, I don’t want to read economic news or any other serious books so I would prefer to read comic to relief my stress. "
It was a little bit confused for me, however, I'm only student similar to you.

There is an other essay that wrote, please write your opinion. Thy in advance your help!

Question: In the future, students may have the choice of studying at home by using technology such as computers or television or of studying at traditional schools. Which would you prefer? Use reasons and specific details to explain your choice.

As a student at a university, I prefer learning at home using the best inventions of the globalization, the internet for a few reasons. Television is old fashioned nowadays, I guess.

First, to be at home itself could provide me a peaceful environment and it is more comfortable than being in the school, sitting at the table and reading. At home, you can learn under more peaceful conditions. Everybody has at home a favorite learning place, so as I do.

The second reason, why I would choose studying at home in front of the computer, is my laziness. Although, internet has a lot of dangerous applications, I can handle it and I deal only with the apps I really need. Let me give you an example. When I prepared to this English exam, I had a lot of books containing of a lot of unfamiliar words, not to mention the idioms and phrasal verbs. I used dictionary to search for the meaning of them, otherwise, I wouldn’t improve myself. Soon I realized that it took so much time using a paper-based dictionary. Therefore I turned to the internet. I have found a dictionary which was only English without any words from other languages. It explained words with English sentences improving my comprehension skills. This dictionary was useful, easy-to-reach and had massive content. All above, it was as quick as my thinking followed by increased free time for me.

The third reason what I want to let you know, that internet has a great store of different things. If I use my computer and I have connection to the internet, I feel almighty and can reach anything I want. If, for instance, global warming comes into my mind, and I want to know more about it, I just type in and read about it. Moreover, on the internet, it has been founded an enormous video store called YouTube. Maybe it’s familiar for you. However, there are a lot of things which is waste on this website, if you know what you are looking for, you probably will succeed it. For example, if it was assigned to learn about the giraffes, you just type in, and you can enjoy a documentary at once about them containing of a lot of information which probably useful for your assignment.

To conclude, internet has a lot of options which may be useful for your learning at home under comfortable conditions, even though it has a great store of waste. You should be engaged to find your aim in order to achieve the highest grade as a result of your study at the end.

[Karnwadee]

[quote="Bartamas"]Hi Karnwadee,

Hi Bartamas,
Thanks for your comment.
I think your essay is good but I think you should add more detail in the intro and use conjunction and transition to your essay and try to reorganize some sentences .

[Bartamas]

Karnwadee,

Thank you for honest opinion and advices. I try to do my best. However, I've never learnt English at school, but from movies and series a lot. I have slightly two weeks to my exam, I think I have organize my thoughts in order to keep your advices and get a high toefl scores. Even though my reading and listening skills are oustanding, my speaking and writing skills need to be improved.
Thy again for your comment!