please check my essay.thank you for your help

[Krexma]

In some traditions, parents prearrange their children’s marriages. In other traditions, young people choose their own spouses. What do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of each tradition? Which tradition would you choose and why?

There is no doubt that marriage traditions have changed since past. Nowadays, more and more young people marriage without parents' intervention or even their consent. However, some cultures continue to follow traditions when parents in charge of spouse choice for their children. This essay will explain advantages and disadvantages of arrangement marriages in advance.

As far as I am concerned, the disadvantages of the parents setting of marriage are greater than advantages. First of all, these types of weddings are finished by divorces very often, because couple does not have an opportunity to choose suitable partner. Personally, I was witnesses for such case when after wedding ceremony couple lives together no more than one year. Secondly, these types of weddings could cause seriously phycological problems. For instance, children could fall in love and have commitments before parents' arrangement. Thus children would safer from their family life with unloved person. Moreover, the couple would prone to quarrels, and therefore such couples would have stressful and miserable life.

The main advantage of marriage arranged by parents is evidence that parents have life experience and they know their children. There are some cultures that do not accept other ways of marriages except parents' agreement in advance between two families. For example, in Hindi religious parents prearrange marriages accordingly to casts divides, because marriages have religious and cultural impacts. Thus it is family responsibility to choice the right person.

To sum up, I would prefer tradition that gives me opportunity to make my own choice in such important decision like marriage. However, parents blessing and experience advice are very welcome.

TOEFL listening lectures: A lecture from an American History class

[123456vn]

Krexma, i think you should separate the second paragraph (that begins with ''secondly, these types....'') to make the paragraph easier for the grader to recognize. And what do you mean when you say ''phycological problems''?, i think you should make that phrase simpler. Hope this helps!:)

[Katty2010]

There is no doubt that marriage traditions have changed since past. Nowadays, more and more young people marriage without parents' intervention or even their consent. However, some cultures continue to follow traditions wheRE parents ARE in charge of choOSING SPOUSE for their children. This essay will explain advantages and disadvantages of arrangement marriages in advance.

As far as I am concerned, the disadvantages of the parents setting of marriage are greater than advantages. First of all, these types of weddings are finished by divorces very often, because couple does not have an opportunity to choose suitable partner. Personally, I was witnesseD ONE for such case when after wedding ceremony couple liveD together no more than one year. Secondly, these types of weddings could cause seriously phycological problems. For instance, children could fall in love and have commitments before parents' arrangement. Thus children would sUFfer from their family life with unloved person. Moreover, the couple would prone to quarrels, and therefore such couples would have stressful and miserable life.

The main advantage of marriage arranged by parents is evidence that parents have life experience and they know their children. There are some cultures that do not accept other ways of marriages except parents' agreement in advance between two families. For example, in HindU religioN parents prearrange marriages accordingly to casts divides, because marriages have religious and cultural impacts. Thus it is family responsibility to choOSE the right person.

To sum up, I would prefer tradition that gives me opportunity to make my own choice in such important decision like marriage. However, parents blessing and experience advice are very welcome.

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Nice essay. But poor vocablury. Please work on grammar, sentence structure, tenses & reading. And check out difference between CHOOSE & CHOICE.

6/10
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Just a confused kid... trying to live through twists & turns of life!
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Everything Is Temporary!

[Krexma]

hello,
I am really appreciate your work.Thank you .

[Katty2010]

Wrong english Krexma : I really appreciate you.
Try working on your grammar please.
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Just a confused kid... trying to live through twists & turns of life!
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Everything Is Temporary!

[Krexma]

OK.Thank you