please assay my essay.Its easier 2bring up a child now than it was 50 years earlier.

[Ishasingla]

hiiiii
please analyse my essay...tell me if u find any mistakes..and any points where I can improve or any points that I can add or delete..
Thanks!

Do you agree or disagree? It is easier to bring up a child now than it was 50 yrs earlier

Life affords no greater responsibility, no greater privilege, than the raising of the next generation. I agree with the statement that its easier to bring up a child now than it was 50 years earlier. Parents plan family when they get sure that they are ready to take that responsibility economically as well as mentally. Parents especially mother is now more educated and hence can take better care of the child whether we talk about providing education or other facilities.
A very common example that supports the statement is the stuff that is available in the market for infants like diapers, a variety of portable potty chairs etc. Parents can travel freely without worrying and can change the diaper easily. Moreover working mothers can drop the child at creche while leaving for office and can pick up the child while coming back to home. Readymade food items like cerelac are considered a nutritious diet. A huge variety of games & toys are available that helps in building mind power in the growing child. Children attend kindergarten to learn to play, communicate and interact with others.
Learning method is easier now. With the help of technology say animated clips are better way to teach something than just story telling. So, its easier to teach history, culture & civilization and other subjects to a child through animation as it will create interest and moreover easier to learn than traditional method that he or she will find boring.
Parents as well as children are more aware and start planning about future at an early stage. Most of the children are given freedom to choose their career as per their interest. As everyone knows choosing career is an important thing in such a competitive environment, parents guide children at every step of life and are ready to support and encourage even if a child takes a wrong decision. In today’s world, its easier to raise a child from womb to tomb in comparison with what it was 50 years ago.

TOEFL listening lectures: In October of which year did Vaudeville officially appear?

[123456vn]

Ishasingla, I think you should spend more time practicing. Here I can only tell you few things you can apply immediately to improve your essay:
_Don't abbreviate the word. For example, ''I agree with the statement that ITS easier to bring up a child'', you forgot to type'' ' '' . You should write ''it is''. What will happen if you make the same mistake when you are taking the test? It will change the meaning of the sentence and your point will be subtracted! Although the grader may know you intend to write '' it's '', but this is a test!
_After ''moreover, first, second, for example, in conclusion etc...'' there is a comma: ''Moreover, working mothers can drop the child...''
_One way to clarify and help the grader recognize your thesis easier is to put '' first/firstly, second/secondly...'' when you begin a paragraph.
Remember that graders only have one minute or two to read you essay, SO MAKE IT AS CLEAR AS POSSIBLE! For instance, ''First, a very common example that supports the statement is the stuff that is available in the market for infants such as diapers and a variety of portable potty chairs etc.... ''
''Second, learning method is easier now.''
And remember a conclusion, too. I think you have a conclusion, right. But why don't you put ''in conclusion'' before it ? :)
_Finally, always remember to spend 1-2 minutes checking your essay's spelling and grammar!
Ps: You have good theses, but you should practice more to avoid minor mistakes and convey your opinion to the grader precisely. Good luck!
If I have time, I will give you more detail advices!
Hope this helps! :)

[Ishasingla]

hiii
thanks a lot 4 spending tym for analysing my essay and telling me the flaws. I'll try to take care of the things that u've told me. please keep giving your feedback. It will really help me to improve.

[123456vn]

Here you are:
''Life affords no greater responsibility, no greater privilege, than the raising of the next generation''(PUT A QUOTE IN A QUOTATION MARK). I agree with the statement that it IS easier to bring up a child now than it was 50 years earlier.(PARAPHRASE THE TOPIC HELPS YOU EARN MORE POINTS.) People GET MARRIED when they get/ARE sure that they are ready to take that responsibility economically as well as mentally. Parents, especially mother, ARE now more educated and hence can take better care of the child whether we talk about providing education or other facilities.
A very common example that supports the statement is the stuff that is available in the market for infants like diapers, a variety of portable potty chairs etc. Parents can travel freely without worrying and can change the diaper easily. Moreover, working mothers can drop THEIR CHILDREN at creche while leaving for office and can pick up their children while coming back to home. Ready-made food items like cerelac are considered a nutritious diet. A huge variety of games & toys are available that helps to build mind power in the growing child. Children attend kindergarten to learn to play, communicate and interact with others.
Learning method is easier now. With the help of technology, animated clips are better way to teach something than just story telling. So, it IS easier to teach history, culture & civilization and other subjects to a child through animation as it will create interest and make it easier to learn than traditional method that he or she will(I PREFER ''WOULD'') find boring.
Parents as well as children are more aware and start planning about future at an early stage. Most of the children are given freedom to choose A career THAT MATCHES their interest. As everyone knows choosing career is an important thing in such a competitive environment, parents guide children at every step of life and are ready to support and encourage even if a child MAKES a wrong decision. In today’s world, its easier to raise a child from womb to tomb in comparison with what it was 50 years ago.

Once again, your essay is good but REMEMBER to check your essay's spelling and grammar to get a high score.

[Ishasingla]

thanks!