| more than a million per year to be economically viable | Holds 4 quarts ? |
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#1 (permalink) Wed Dec 07, 2011 14:22 pm What are gramatical mistakes in the text below? |
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every room that I passed away from, It was a red lamp and a yellow switch. Bar, bar, bar. the bar, the red, the yellow. When a room passed away from me, a weapon; wrapped with a blanket, was standing against the wall. the bar, the weapon, the red, the yellow. every room that I passed away from, a glance was being disappeared. the air of the corridor was so fogy that I was lost. Every step that It was getting near to me, the shadow of the bars, were slipping on the wall. It came ahead, and the shadows were in my hug. I didn't see It's light. she opened the door, the red lamps were been turned on and the weapons got up.
Thank you so much in advance. _________________ Man gets and forgets, God gives and forgives. |
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Dodgewiper I'm here quite often ;-)

Joined: 22 Dec 2009 Posts: 336 Location: Iran or persia
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#2 (permalink) Wed Dec 07, 2011 22:29 pm What are gramatical mistakes in the text below? |
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They are numerous but I don't understand the purpose of some of the sentences, particularly lines 2 and 4. It all sounds rather surreal. _________________ Cheers m' dears! |
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Beeesneees Language Coach

Joined: 08 Apr 2010 Posts: 20463 Location: UK, born and bred
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#3 (permalink) Tue Dec 13, 2011 14:39 pm What are gramatical mistakes in the text below? |
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Thank you Bee. Lines 2 and 4 is describing what the writer of the text is seeing when passing the rooms. you said numerous mistakes are in it, would you mind telling me that numerous grammatical mistakes? Thank you again. _________________ Man gets and forgets, God gives and forgives. |
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Dodgewiper I'm here quite often ;-)

Joined: 22 Dec 2009 Posts: 336 Location: Iran or persia
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#4 (permalink) Tue Dec 13, 2011 15:03 pm What are gramatical mistakes in the text below? |
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In every room that I passed there was a red lamp with a yellow switch. Numerous bars, with red and yellow. In every room that I passed there was a weapon, wrapped in a blanket, standing up against the wall. Every room a bar, a weapon, the red and yellow. In every room that I passed there was a slowly disappearing glance. The air of the corridor was so foggy that I became lost. With every step that drew closer, the shadow of the bars slipped further along the wall. It came closer and the shadows were within my hug but I didn't see its light. She opened the door and the red lamps had been turned on. The weapons got up to greet me.
Woah, what were you on when you wrote this? It's hauntingly meaningless and weirdly beautiful at the same time.... ... or something like that.
I have tried to clean it up for you a little.... but it is still surreal. |
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Thredder I'm here quite often ;-)
Joined: 26 Sep 2010 Posts: 348
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#5 (permalink) Wed Dec 14, 2011 13:40 pm What are gramatical mistakes in the text below? |
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Thank you so much Thredder. My friend wrote this in Farsi and I turned it into English for him. I had a lot of mistakes, shame on me (:. I tried to keep the main text approximately intact. _________________ Man gets and forgets, God gives and forgives. |
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Dodgewiper I'm here quite often ;-)

Joined: 22 Dec 2009 Posts: 336 Location: Iran or persia
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| more than a million per year to be economically viable | Holds 4 quarts ? |