This is my paragraph waiting for you guys to correct it

[Ali Knani]

i hope you're doing well..

this is one paragraph i wrote today and i want you please to give your comments about it..

im in the 3rd level and i don't know if my writing is as good as it should be or not.. i want to hear from you

This is my paraghraph

Parents will find the years when their children are adolescents the most difficult to live through.

The mood swings of the young person can bewildering. Because the young people feel with strange feelings In this time and his/her body grow and he/she feels he becomes a man and a woman. It is a dangerous time for the young people we should take care and help with them and learn them about the religion and Islam to pass this dangerous time safety.


Suddenly, the young person becomes very secretive about his or her activities. Also his/her activities are changed to another activities such as loving, hating and aggressive.

The parents are constantly the target for irrational anger. There is no doubt that the parents try to keep their children and advice them and save anything they want from food, drinks, clothing, money...etc.

It is painful to see one’s "baby" growing more independent. The cause of this the family because the family did not give the baby a chance to depend on himself or herself to become a good man or a good woman. The family plays a great role of the children’s life. The family is considered a first school for the children. In addition to the family should teach the children every good things such as loving others, the dependent and help the others to become a good person.

The young persons may leave his study in this time and move to loving bad friends. The bad friends teach them bad habits such as smoking and meeting girls.

Finally , we should help the young people and discuss with them and try know their problems and solve these problems and increase their knowledge of Islam and religion and ask them to share in social works to pass this dangerous time safety.

[Mister Micawber]

It is too big and bright. I am blinded.
_________________
Native English teacher at Mister Micawber's