Please check my essay~Thank you very much!

[Alinna_Yun]

The way a person is dressed in is a good indication of his/her character or personality.Do you agree or disagree with it?

The past decade has witnessed the remarkable changes in people's preference of clothes. It may be true that the fashion trends had changed scores of times in history while the people's characters still could be shown by their dresses. Nonetheless, for me, nothing is more evident than that people's characters can be indicated perfectly by the colors, materials and styles of various clothes.

We may with propriety consider that color is one of the reasons indicating the people's personality traits. It's pervasive that the clothes of warm colors are usually dressed by the active and outgoing people while the cold and dark colors are the better choices for the chary and strict people. According to a survey in the Netherlands that confidence people are more likely to choose light and bright colors' clothes in daily life than those who are not so.

A second observation to be made is that clothes' materials can reflect people's characters somehow. People who love sports enjoy cotton dresses because they can quickly absorb the sweat, while some others prefer silk dresses much better for light and soft feelings when dressing them.

Admittedly, a group of people would claim that people in the same uniform couldn't be indicated in their characters, seeing that they wear the dresses made of the same color and material. Persuasive as it seems to be, a close analysis would reveal how flimsy it is. I argue the point for they ignored the styles of different people. In my high school life, we wore the same school uniform every day. Even though we looked all the same except the faces, some students made some tricks on the dresses to show their differences. Boys cut the trousers to fit their figures and girls made the skirt shorter to show their slim and long legs. Thus the different appearance can be shown to others.

Taking all these factors into account, we may safely draw a conclusion that the dress a person has can be a gorgeous indication of his characters. That's why we recognize someone not only by their behaviors, but also by their choices of dresses on the streets.
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Thank you for checking my essay and if you could give me a score for it, I will be grateful!

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between a research professor and a student

[Luschen]

Hi, I think you have done a very good job. Your organization and reasoning is outstanding. But there were a few errors in usage and that one phrase I could not understand at all. I am not a TOEFL grader, but based on these grading criteria: http://www.ets.org/toefl/pbt/scores/writing_score_guide/ in my opinion I would rate this essay a 4.5/6

[Alinna_Yun]

Thank you very much for your help!!
I think the second sentence should be written like this:Although the fashion trends effcted individuals' dressing in a period of time, but their characters can be easily seen under the clothes.
I think this may be better!

[Luschen]

OK, I understand what you are saying now.

It may be true that the fashion trends had changed scores of times in history while the people's characters still could be shown by their dresses.

How about this?

Though it may be true that the fashion trends have changed scores of times throughout history, the fact remains that people's character have always been revealed by their clothing.

[Alinna_Yun]

I see!Thank you very much for your help!