Please Check my essay For TOEFL® IBT

[Mbsezer]

To eat food is people’s main activity because people need to eat to continue their lives. Some people prefer to eat at food stands or restaurants because they believe that when they eat at outside they do not have to think about dirty dishes and it makes them feel good. However , I prefer to eat at home for several reasons and those are in three groups ; the first reason is economic , the second reason is health and the last one is personal desire.

In spite of the fact that to eat at restaurants or food stands become more popular , to eat food at home is cheaper than the outside. What I mean is that when I would like to eat , I go to the big market to find suitable price for me however , If I go to a restaurant , I must pay the restaurant’s price. As an example ,I like to eat pasta , probably ,the price of pasta with beverage in a restaurant is 25 $ however , I eat pasta at home much more cheaper than outside.

Second reason is about health people who eat food at outside do not know how the foods were cooked. However , I am sure what I eat at home , because I cook them. Last week my friend had food poisoning at a restaurant , because he ate old food. My health is the most vital thing for me . To protect my health I eat at home.

Last but not least reason is personal desire what I mean by saying personal desire is that when I eat food at home I can add some flavoring . However , I do not have any chance to do this. I do not eat food which does not has flavor , I addicted flavor that is why I prefer to eat at home. And also I prepare a good table for me , for example I put flowers and candles.

In conclusion I prefer to eat at home because , I do not have lots of money to spend it at outside and I care my health , I must pay attention what I eat and I have several consuetude which I depend them. Due to these reasons I do not prefer to eat at outside.
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I am waiting your responses.

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between a professor and a student discussing a possibility

[Luschen]

Hi Mbsezer. I like your reasoning and organization in this essay. It was a little distracting because you kept saying "eating outside" which makes me think of a picnic. Even "eating outside the home" still doesn't really mean going to a restaurant or the English idioms for eating at a restaurant: "going out to eat" or "eating out". Please watch your run-on sentences - use more periods! Also, your conclusion was pretty weak. I am not a TOEFL scorer, but considering these grading criteria: http://www.ets.org/toefl/pbt/scores/writing_score_guide/ I would give your essay a 4.5/6.