looking forward to hearing your opinion about this independent writing sample 2

[Mochad]

What do you consider to be the most important room in a house? Why is this room more important to you than any other room? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

What makes a room of a house the most important is the combination of two factors, the amount of time spent there, and the number of activities carried out in it. Though most people spend a significant portion of their time in the bedroom, but they do very few activities in addition to sleeping. Therefore, opening the door widely for the living room to be the most important room in the house due to its multi-usages and the long time spent in it.

When it comes to the activities that are performed in a living room, it is not an exaggeration to say that they are countless. Eating is one of the major activities that takes place in the living room. The kitchen has became the place for cooking only. Furthermore, families and friends gather in this room to watch TV. This gathering will also commence discussions about different family, political, religious, and much more issues and topics. Last but not least, the living room is the perfect place for sitting with visitors, holding business meetings, ceremonies, parties, etc.

The amount of time spent in a living room is affected by the number of activities performed there. And as mentioned formerly, "they are countless", hence, the amount of time will also be substantial. Moreover, it is not only the amount of time that counts here, but also the benefits being reaped. Similar to the concept of "Return On Investment", having fun with the family or friends, boosting up knowledge and social skills, or even relaxing after a long exhausting day are all precious outcomes gained from the golden time spent in the living room.

As this essay has demonstrated, the living room is the room in which most of the activities are carried out, thus spending in it most of the time, therefore making it the most important room. Do you think there will come a day when houses are built as a one room house, the living room!

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between a professor and a university student in the professor's office

[Luschen]

Hi, I think this is an outstanding essay. Only a few minor mistakes keeping it from being flawless. I am not a TOEFL grader, but considering the grading criteria: http://www.ets.org/toefl/pbt/scores/writing_score_guide/ I would give this essay a 5.5/6.

[Mochad]

Thanks Luschen :D

[Mochad]

{"opening the door widely" is not an English idiom - I am not sure what it means} I wanted to say that it will "increase the chances" of the living room to be the most important room as there will be no other competitor to compete with, but I didn't find the appropriate idiom!

[Luschen]

[Mochad]

what do you think then the appropriate idiom would be?

[Luschen]

Hmm, I can't think of one right off hand. Maybe I was too hard on your idiom ;). I would probably write the sentences in question like this:

Though most people spend a significant portion of their time in the bedroom, they do very few activities there besides sleeping. This opens the door for the living room to be considered the most important room in the house due to its multiple uses and the long time spent in it.

[Mochad]

Like :D