 #2 (permalink) Tue Jan 10, 2012 20:36 pm Please check my essay,Thank you very much! |
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Hi, I'm not a native speaker and I cannot give a score. But I want to tell you that your writing is amazing, especially when it comes to the vocab usage (I had to check my dictionary for the meaning of some words). Had nice time reading your essay, and I hope that you reply to discuss my opinions :D
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It is becoming increasingly difficult to ignore that a lot of people spend less time be busy in the kitchen for cooking { this is wonderful, but i prefer it this way: It is becoming increasingly difficult to ignore the fact that a lot of people are spending less time be busy in the kitchen for cooking}. The prevailing {excellent choice} attitudes towards this issue involve that cooking will be regarded as a popular activity for people to enjoying {liked that} the life in their future. Granted that the physiological needs will be highly satisfied, I believe the time for cooking will be shortened just for the development of techniques, working pressure and interpersonal communication.
My main reason, conspicuously and ubiquitously {wow}, associates with the point that the technology of cooking equipments will be the pivot of decreasing time in kitchen. In the past decades, {I prefer to say: Over the past decade,} the technology of electric equipments has been {had} developed out of imagination {I guess the present perfect simple should be used because the action started in the past and continues up to the present -with an emphasis on the action}. With the appearance of microwave ovens and gas cookers, the time for cooking reduces rapidly. The cooking is no more a duty just owned by housewives, but anybody who wants to have a simple dinner. Obviously, 20 years later, the high-technical cooking equipments will be invented for people to make not 'fast food', but 'faster food' {smart} instead. {I prefer to say: Therefore, It would be rational to forecast that in the coming 20 years more advanced technical cooking equipment will be invented for people to make "faster food".}
A second observation to be made is that with individuals will take less time cooking because of the working pressure. Nowadays, white collars {another excellent choice} would like to have fast food at noon because of the large amount of work they need to do all the day. They even do not have enough time to sit down, to have a cup of nice drink and a feast, or to stop business and enjoy the life. Faced with this kind of scene, what future would you image for 20 years later? Could the workers have more time to have lunch or dinner with the fierce competition for jobs in next 10 years?
{ wonderful idea, it inspired me, but I prefer to stress on the family in this paragraph, like saying: family ties are getting more and more loosened or weaker and then elaborate on this idea} A third and still important consideration is that interpersonal communication also effects the cooking time. Sometimes what we did to survive on the earth was just struggling out of impoverished or stepping into upper classes. We forgot to get together with our families and friends to have a delicious dinner and talk with them happily. Without complete interpersonal communication in the future, lonely as exiling cats, we do not care food quality any more. Fast food and simple snacks will fill our whole life without any nutrients and health. Would you remember a word called cooking that time? {I guess it should be by that time, need a native speaker for this one}
Obviously, all the evidences confirm an undoubted conclusion that the cooking time will be shortened 20 years later. Maybe we will take medicines instead to keep our bodies functioning well as exuberant, healthy and normal human beings. |
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 Mochad
You can meet me at english-test.net
Joined: 08 Jan 2012
Posts: 99
Location: Lebanon
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