#2 (permalink) Thu Jan 12, 2012 2:08 am Re: please check my essay, thank you very much! |
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Hi, I am not an English teacher, but as a native speaker, I have made some suggestions for your essay. Your organization is quite good, but you have not really convinced me that reading is inherently better than listening - like for instance listening to books on tape. There were also some phrases which were awkward or which I was not able to understand. I am not a TOEFL grader, but based on these criteria: http://www.ets.org/toefl/pbt/scores/writing_score_guide/ I would give your essay a 4/6 or maybe a 4.5/6
| Namdm24 wrote: |
Topic: People learn in different ways. Some people learn by doing things; some people learn by reading about things, others learn by listening to people about things. Which of these methods of learning is best for you? There are many ways to get{"gain" would sound better here} knowledge nowadays. For instance, people can learn through doing things, reading or even listening. All the[se] methods are very efficient to learn[in learning] well. However, I think it is better to learn by readings[reading] because it is very easy to do and you can be very active to read some informations.{this last phrase is confusing to me} First of all, I believe that it is not difficult to get information through reading. While you have to be very focus[ed] to get knowledge by listening or have to do very hard experiments, you just need to relax and read a book if you want to learn something. {this sentence sounds awkward - try: "While you must be very focused to gain knowledge by listening or performing difficult experiments, by simply relaxing and reading a book you can learn just as well."} For example, many people read newspapers or magazines while they are in their free time and they still get important and precise information. Contrary to it[this], learning by listening can make the listeners wrong easily[easily mislead the listener] and consequently, the listeners [may] get wrong information. Furthermore, if you learn through doing things such as experiments, you need to spend a lot of time and energy on it, and it is not easy to get a success[ful] experiment, while you only need a day to read a book. Another reason I like reading is the[its] flexibility. More detailed {"To be more precise" would work better here}, you can read everywhere or every time you want. For example, you can easily bring a newspaper to your schools or offices[school or office] to get information whenever you want. In addition, you can also get knowledge from the internet or televisions[television] On the contrary, you can not listen to an information or do things wherever you want. {What if you have the radio on at work or listen on headphones to a podcast while you exercise?} People have their own method[s ] to learn efficiently. Although there are many ways to learn, it is important to know which methods are better for us to get information. In my opinion, I think reading is the best ways[way] to learn because of [its] easiness and flexibility.
TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between a university professor and a student in the professor's office |
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Luschen I'm a Communicator ;-)

Joined: 08 Apr 2011 Posts: 2135 Location: Nashville TN, USA
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