please check my essay, thank you very much!

[Boraqq]

*People attend school for many different reasons (for example, expanded knowledge, societal awareness, and enhanced interpersonal relationships). Why do you think people decide to go to school

People attend school because every people want to improve their ability. Also they expanded their knowledge, societal awareness and enhanced their interpersonal relationship. These examples are necessity for people. If people want a good life circumstances, they should go to school and improve themselves. Nobody has a good life circumstances without attend school. People decide to go school some reasons which are making money, having a good life circumstances, and enhancing interpersonal relationships.

First of all, nowadays money is the most important thing in people's life. Although money is important, earning money is very difficult. If people want to make lots of money, they must attend school. Because school improve people knowledge so people can use their knowledge when they are working. Also when people go to good school, they can have a lot of job opportunity. Therefore people can make lots of money. However lots of people ,without attend school, are unemployed.

Secondly, lots of people want to attend school because they want good life circumstances. For instance, people where live in small town want to attend school because they want to live in big cities. In my country, lots of student attend big cities universities from small cities. Because If people study in a big city, they can have lots of job opportunity and they can make lots of money.

Last but not least, schools are enhancing interpersonal relationships. Interpersonal relation ship is a significant necessity for people. If people want to be successful or have a good job, they should have a good interpersonal relationships. School is most beneficial place for improving interpersonal relationship. Because people are interacting to lots of people in school.

To sum up, attending school is most important thing in people life. In my opinion, school can improve peoples ability and attending school is very beneficial for people. Every people should attend to school for a good life.

**Do you agree or disagree that progress is always good

Progress is the one of significant necessity for everything such as states, teams or jobs. These things are administer by people. People want to be successful every time amd every where. For these reason progress is most important thing in people lives. Actually people do not satisfy any time and they always want to improve something about their life or their job. Progress is the most important for states, teams and jobs.

First of all, progress is the most important feature for states. Governments usually want to improve their states because they should consider their states in the future. For instance, America is the most successful state in the process. Governments always want to improve something about the states and they succeed this progress.

Secondly, teams are always want to improve themselves. Because progress is very important for teams. Although lots of teams conditions were bad in the past, they was improved and now some teams have lots of achievement. For instance, Blackpool which is a football team in the England was 3. league in the past. But they worked hard and last year they promoted in the Premier League. They gain these achievements with progress.

Last but not least, people always want to promote in their job. Because people always do not satisfy their situation. Also people want to succeed in their job every time. For these reason progress is most important thing in people’s jobs.

To sum up, progress is a significant necessity for people’s life. In my opinion, progress is always important and good for people. People can improve their job, teams can gain lots of or big achievement and states can develop their feature with progress. If progress is not in people life, they can not gain anything.

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between two university students (2)

[Luschen]

Hi, your grammar is pretty good, but neither of your essays were very persuasive to me. I read through them and it really didn't feel like you were saying very much at all. Try to use more examples and use more personal examples. For the school essay, the examples for for example only, I don't think they expected you to use those particular examples for your essay. For your second essay, I would expect to see reasons why progress is good instead of three groups which have progressed in the past. I am not a TOEFL grader, but based on these criteria: http://www.ets.org/toefl/pbt/scores/writing_score_guide/ I would give both of your essays a 3.5/6

[Duet062010]

[Luschen]

Every can only be used with singular nouns. All is used with plural ones.

Every person, all people

Every country, all countries

Every tree, all trees

[Boraqq]

thanks for your help