| Looking forward to your revising!Please give me feefback and a band score! Thanks | please have a look at my essay...... |
Message |
Author |
 #1 (permalink) Mon Jan 16, 2012 18:26 pm please check my essay |
|
|
What is funniest thing that ever happened to you? Describe
Many people have amusing experience in their lives. I also remember funny stories which happened to me even in kindergarten. However, if I should choose the funniest, then I want to describe the one which occurred to me at hospital when I was a child.
The interesting story took place when I was 11 years old, but it makes me to laugh even nowadays. I had some disease which required long hospitalization in those days. Children as me were hospitalized without parents because in such considerable age they could be responsible to themselves. To my regret, I had family name of rare occurrence, therefore many people pronounced it incorrect. Knowing this fact, I became accustomed to reply when I heard similar but not exactly surname. During the hospitalization I had to receive some treatment everyday. I remember that nurse came to our five –patient room in order to call for room for medical procedures. As regular, I heard a family name which was sound as mine but not exactly as mine. I was a new patient so I thought it is mine surname, thus I went with her and received treatment included injections. To my surprise, after four hours the same nurse came to call to treatment but now she spelled my name correct. I replied again to my name, she was astonished to realize that previous treatment was intended not to me. Finally, I started to laugh how incautious I was receiving treatment for two girls. In addition the face expression of the nurse was so funny that I cannot stop to laugh. Luckily, it was the same disease so we got the same treatment.
Since this time I always checked my family name twice when people had said it until marriage that gave me opportunity to get new surname for my luck on the one hand and to regret of my father to other hand because I am only one child in our family.
TOEFL listening lectures: Why does the professor discuss World War II? |
|
 Krexma
I'm new here and I like it ;-)
Joined: 17 Nov 2011
Posts: 46
|
|
|
| #2 (permalink) Tue Jan 17, 2012 4:22 am Re: please check my essay |
|
|
Hi, this was a very entertaining essay. You were lucky the other girl was not scheduled for a heart transplant or to get her kidney removed! I also have a very unusual last name - Luschen. I can always tell the telemarketers (look up this word for homework) because they never pronounce my name correctly. Like vs as can be very confusing - this website is pretty good at explaining it: http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/like-versus-as.aspx
| Krexma wrote: |
What is funniest thing that ever happened to you? Describe
Many people have amusing experience[s ] in their lives. I also remember funny stories which happened to me even in kindergarten. However, if I should choose the funniest, then I want to describe the one which occurred to me at hospital when I was a child.
The{"This" would be better} interesting story took place when I was 11 years old, but it makes me to laugh {I don't know the grammatical explanation, but we say "it makes me laugh" or "it causes me to laugh"} even nowadays. I had some disease which required long hospitalization in those days. Children as{"like" is correct here - here is an explanation: http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/like-versus-as.aspx } me were hospitalized without parents because in such considerable age they could[they were old enough to] be responsible to[for] themselves. To my regret, I had [a] family name of rare occurrence, therefore many people pronounced it incorrect[ly]. Knowing this fact, I became accustomed to reply[ing] when I heard [a] similar but not exactly surname. During the hospitalization I had to receive some treatment everyday. I remember that[the] nurse came to our five –patient room in order to call for[one of us from the] room for medical procedures. As{"Like" would be better here} regular{"normal" would be better here}, I heard a family name which was sound as[sounded like] mine but not exactly as mine. I was a new patient so I thought it is mine [was my] surname, thus I went with her and received treatment [which] included injections. To my surprise, after four hours the same nurse came to call to treatment but now she spelled my name correct[ly]. I replied again to my name,{semi colon} she was astonished to realize that [the] previous treatment was [not] intended not to[for] me. Finally, I started to laugh [seeing] how incautious I was receiving treatment for two girls. In addition the face[facial] expression of the nurse was so funny that I cannot stop to laugh[could not stop laughing]. Luckily, it was the same disease so we got the same treatment.
Since this time I always checked my family name twice when people had said it until marriage that gave me [the] opportunity to get [a] new surname for my luck on the one hand and to [the] regret of my father to[on the] other hand because I am [the] only one child in our family.
TOEFL listening lectures: Why does the professor discuss World War II? |
|
|
Luschen
I'm a Communicator ;-)
Joined: 08 Apr 2011
Posts: 2135
Location: Nashville TN, USA
|
|
| #3 (permalink) Tue Jan 17, 2012 20:13 pm please check my essay |
|
|
Thank you very much.
I really appreciate your help
i also borrowed this book from library to work on my grammar |
|
Krexma
I'm new here and I like it ;-)
Joined: 17 Nov 2011
Posts: 46
|
 |
| #4 (permalink) Tue Jan 17, 2012 20:52 pm Re: please check my essay |
|
|
| Essay is a bit interesting.You are lucky that you both had the same disease.I would estimate as 3 from 5 points. |
|
Vuqar1.618
I'm new here and I like it ;-)
Joined: 18 Feb 2011
Posts: 45
Location: Azerbaijan
|
|
|
| Looking forward to your revising!Please give me feefback and a band score! Thanks | please have a look at my essay...... |
