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LCCI EfB, task 2 (canteen memo)


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LCCI EfB, task 2 (canteen memo) #1 (permalink) Mon Jan 16, 2012 22:19 pm   LCCI EfB, task 2 (canteen memo)
 

TASK 2

Situation
For 2 weeks the restaurant and leisure area of your factory will be closed for re-decorating and the installation of new kitchen equipment. You have made arrangements to use the canteen of a company near to your premises. The lunchtime break will be extended by 15 minutes for all workers, to give time for walking to and from the factory. Lunchtime will operate on a rota system, 3 groups at half hour intervals, beginning at 11.30am.

Task
Write a memo of between 150 and 200 words to all supervisors, telling them of the new
arrangement. It will be their job to inform workers, to organise the rota system, and to ensure that no unnecessary time is spent away from the workplace.

TOEIC listening, question-response: Do you live by yourself?
Torsten
Learning Coach
Torsten Daerr

Joined: 25 Sep 2003
Posts: 15008
Location: EU

LCCI EfB, task 2 (canteen memo) #2 (permalink) Tue Jan 17, 2012 11:57 am   LCCI EfB, task 2 (canteen memo)
 

To: all supervisors
From: Mario Rudolph
Subject: re-decorating the restaurant/leisure area
Date: 17th January 2012

From 23rd of this month the restaurant will be re-decorated and will be closed till 6th of February.
During this time we have the possibility to use the canteen of Charly's soundstation.
The lunch time will be extended by 15 minutes for all workers.
We have to organize the rota system for this two weeks including 3 groups at half hour intervals. The lunch break will start at 11.30 am.

Please send me your ideas what you prefer till tomorrow

regards

Mario Rudolph
Mario From Saxony
I'm new here and I like it ;-)


Joined: 10 Jan 2012
Posts: 33

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LCCI EfB, task 2 (canteen memo) #3 (permalink) Tue Jan 17, 2012 12:03 pm   LCCI EfB, task 2 (canteen memo)
 

To: all supervisors
From: Gabriele Gagell, managing assistant
Subject: lunch
Data: 17 January 2012

You all know that our old kitchen was closed for redecorating. The new canteen will be opened next month.
Until then our employees can use the canteen from the bakery company. But not all workers can have lunch at the some time and so we must organize a rota system with 3 groups.
The lunchtime break for all workers takes 30 minutes and begins at 11.30 a.m. with the first group. In a interval of a half hour follow the next both.
Please arrange such a system and inform your workers. Ensure that no unnecessary time spends away from the workplace.

Pleas let me know how you agreed and arranged to next monday
Gagelle
I'm new here and I like it ;-)


Joined: 10 Jan 2012
Posts: 26

LCCI EfB, task 2 (canteen memo) #4 (permalink) Tue Jan 17, 2012 14:14 pm   LCCI EfB, task 2 (canteen memo)
 

To: all supervisors
From: Katja Köhler
Subject: Attention!! restaurant and leisure area for 2 weeks closed!
Date: 17th January 2012

From 5th to 19th February closed our restaurant and leisure area. We will be re-decorating and the installation of new kitchen equipment.

We have made arrangements to use the canteen with our immediate neighbor the Müller company, with a number of local dishes or sushi dishes. The lunchtime break will be extended by 15 minutes for all workers. This is enough time for walking to. The Lunchtime will operate on a rota system, 3 groups at half hour intervals.

department sales: start: 11:30
department account: start: 12:00
department controlling start: 12:30

Please inform your team!
Katjakb
I'm new here and I like it ;-)


Joined: 12 Jan 2012
Posts: 20

LCCI EfB, task 2 (canteen memo) #5 (permalink) Tue Jan 17, 2012 16:07 pm   LCCI EfB, task 2 (canteen memo)
 

Mario From Saxony wrote:
To: all supervisors {I would capitalize: All Supervisors}
From: Mario Rudolph
Subject: re-decorating the restaurant/leisure area {This is somewhat subjective, but again I would capitalize: Re-decorating the Restaurant/Leisure Area
Date: 17th January 2012

From 23rd of this month the restaurant will be re-decorated and will be closed till 6th of February. {This is ok, but the from/till combination is quite separated - I would prefer "From the 23rd of this month until the 6th of February the restaurant will be re-decorated and will be closed." Or better "Beginning the 23rd of this month the restaurant will be re-decorated and will remain closed until the 6th of February.}
During this time we have the possibility {possibility makes it sounds like the plans have not been finalized} to use the canteen of Charly's soundstation. {capitalize both words if this is a business}

The lunch time will be extended by 15 minutes for all workers. {try to give a reason for this change}

We have to organize the rota {I suppose this is a British term - in the U.S. we would say "rotation system"} system for this[these] two weeks including 3 groups at half hour intervals. The lunch break will start at 11.30 am.

Please send me your ideas what you prefer till[by] tomorrow {period}
{These last two paragraphs sound a little "wishy washy". Try to be more authoritative and make sure the supervisors have all the information they need and know that they will be required to minimize the lost time due to this change}

regards {capitalize and follow with comma}

Mario Rudolph
Luschen
I'm a Communicator ;-)


Joined: 08 Apr 2011
Posts: 2135
Location: Nashville TN, USA

LCCI EfB, task 2 (canteen memo) #6 (permalink) Tue Jan 17, 2012 20:00 pm   LCCI EfB, task 2 (canteen memo)
 

Gabi From Dd wrote:
To: all supervisors {I would capitalize}
From: Gabriele Gagell, managing assistant {capitalize title}
Subject: lunch {I would capitalize the subject}
Data: 17 January 2012

You all know that our old kitchen was closed for redecorating. The new canteen will be opened next month. {they may want to know the exact dates - also a restaurant/leisure area is not really synonymous with kitchen}
Until then our employees can use the canteen from the bakery company. But not all workers can have lunch at the some[same] time and so we must organize a rota system with 3 groups.
The lunchtime break for all[each rotation of] workers takes 30 minutes and begins at 11.30 a.m. with the first group. In[After] a interval of a half hour [will] follow the next both[group].
Please arrange such a system and inform your workers. Ensure that no unnecessary time spends [is spent] away from the workplace.

{sp} let me know how you agreed and arranged to next monday{cap} {this sentence should be rewritten}
Luschen
I'm a Communicator ;-)


Joined: 08 Apr 2011
Posts: 2135
Location: Nashville TN, USA

LCCI EfB, task 2 (canteen memo) #7 (permalink) Tue Jan 17, 2012 20:11 pm   LCCI EfB, task 2 (canteen memo)
 

Katjakb wrote:
To: all supervisors {I would capitalize All Supervisors}
From: Katja Köhler
Subject: Attention!! restaurant and leisure area for 2 weeks closed! [closed for 2 weeks!]
Date: 17th January 2012

From 5th [January] to 19th February {say either 19 February (BrE) or 19th of February (AmE)} closed our restaurant and leisure area [will be closed]. We will be re-decorating and the installation of[installing] new kitchen equipment.

We have made arrangements [with our immediate neighbor the Müller company] to use the[ir] canteen, [It features] with a number of local dishes or [and] sushi dishes. {your original sentence was ok, but this is better} The lunchtime break will be extended by 15 minutes for all workers. This is enough time for walking to [the Muller canteen]. The Lunchtime will operate on a rota system, [with] 3 groups [eating] at half hour intervals.

department sales: start: 11:30
department account: start: 12:00
department controlling start: 12:30
{sales department, accounting department, not sure what controlling department would be}
Please inform your team!
Luschen
I'm a Communicator ;-)


Joined: 08 Apr 2011
Posts: 2135
Location: Nashville TN, USA

LCCI EfB, task 2 (canteen memo) #8 (permalink) Wed Jan 18, 2012 7:50 am   LCCI EfB, task 2 (canteen memo)
 

Hi Luschen, thank you very much for your suggestions and comments, we'll go through them in detail later today. In the meantime, here is a sample memo provided by LCCI:

TO: ALL SUPERVISORS
FROM: NAME OF CANDIDATE
DATE: SUITABLE DATE
SUBJECT: TEMPORARY LUNCH ARRANGEMENTS

You will probably have heard that our restaurant and leisure area is closing for 2 weeks in order that re-decoration and re-equipment of the kitchens can take place.
During this period of closure, I have made arrangements for our staff to use the canteen at Smith and Sons, who are just 5 minutes down the road from our front gates.

To allow our workers time to walk to and from Smith and Sons’ premises, I have allowed an extra 15 minutes to the usual lunchtime. This should be quite adequate.
Because Smith and Sons also use their canteen, we shall need to operate our lunch break on a rota system. This will be at 30 minute intervals starting at 11.30am. It will be the responsibility of all supervisors to work together to produce and monitor the lunch rota.

I need hardly remind you that normal work must not be interrupted, and therefore it will also be your responsibility to ensure that workers keep to the time allocated, so that production is not affected.

I look forward to your co-operation and commitment over this slightly difficult period.
Thank you!

Also, here is your third LCCI writing assignment: LCCI EfB, task 3 (letter: invitation)

TOEIC listening, question-response: Don't we have to sign in at the front desk?
Torsten
Learning Coach
Torsten Daerr

Joined: 25 Sep 2003
Posts: 15008
Location: EU

LCCI EfB, task 2 (canteen memo) #9 (permalink) Wed Jan 18, 2012 9:05 am   LCCI EfB, task 2 (canteen memo)
 

Luschen wrote:
Mario From Saxony wrote:
To: all supervisors {I would capitalize: All Supervisors}
From: Mario Rudolph
Subject: re-decorating the restaurant/leisure area {This is somewhat subjective, but again I would capitalize: Re-decorating the Restaurant/Leisure Area
Date: 17th January 2012

From 23rd of this month the restaurant will be re-decorated and will be closed till 6th of February. {This is ok, but the from/till combination is quite separated - I would prefer "From the 23rd of this month until the 6th of February the restaurant will be re-decorated and will be closed." Or better "Beginning the 23rd of this month the restaurant will be re-decorated and will remain closed until the 6th of February.}
During this time we have the possibility {possibility makes it sounds like the plans have not been finalized} to use the canteen of Charly's soundstation. {capitalize both words if this is a business}

The lunch time will be extended by 15 minutes for all workers. {try to give a reason for this change}

We have to organize the rota {I suppose this is a British term - in the U.S. we would say "rotation system"} system for this[these] two weeks including 3 groups at half hour intervals. The lunch break will start at 11.30 am.

Please send me your ideas what you prefer till[by] tomorrow {period}
{These last two paragraphs sound a little "wishy washy". Try to be more authoritative and make sure the supervisors have all the information they need and know that they will be required to minimize the lost time due to this change}

regards {capitalize and follow with comma}

Mario Rudolph


Hello Luschen,

Thank you for your helpful response.
The task was a part of a mock exam, and I did it at the end of four parts. There wasn't enough time left and I had to write something. So I did it. I'm at the beginning of learning business English and that's why I'm very thankful for your constructive reply.
How are things in Nashville, Tennessee?

Regards

Mario
Mario From Saxony
I'm new here and I like it ;-)


Joined: 10 Jan 2012
Posts: 33

LCCI EfB, task 2 (canteen memo) #10 (permalink) Wed Jan 18, 2012 9:17 am   LCCI EfB, task 2 (canteen memo)
 

Hello Luschen,

thank you very much for your helpful suggestion and representations. It is great to get help from so far away. :-)

Regards
Katja
Katjakb
I'm new here and I like it ;-)


Joined: 12 Jan 2012
Posts: 20

LCCI EfB, task 2 (canteen memo) #11 (permalink) Wed Jan 18, 2012 9:52 am   LCCI EfB, task 2 (canteen memo)
 

Hello Luschen

thank you for your response. It's great that you help us to write a good memo. I think I must try it sometimes.
I have re-written the memo. Can you please check this version?

To: All Supervisors
From: Gabriele Gagell, Managing Assistant
Subject: Lunch
Date: 17 January 2012

You all know that our restaurant and leisure area will be closed next Monday for two weeks. These rooms will be redecorated and we will get a new kitchen.

Until then our employees can use the canteen from the bakery company next to us. But not all workers can have lunch at the same time, so we should organize a rota system with 3 groups.

The lunchtime break for each rotation of workers takes 30 minutes and begins at 11.30 a.m. with the first group. After an interval of half an hour the next group will follow.

Please keep this in mind and stick to this system and inform your workers. Ensure that no unnecessary time is spent away from the workplace. It may be possible for this short time.

Please give me a status report by this Friday.
Gagelle
I'm new here and I like it ;-)


Joined: 10 Jan 2012
Posts: 26

LCCI EfB, task 2 (canteen memo) #12 (permalink) Wed Jan 18, 2012 13:56 pm   LCCI EfB, task 2 (canteen memo)
 

I think you have done an excellent job with this memo. I would like to receive memos this clear and concise where I work! I made a couple suggestions - the main problem was that "It may be possible for this short time." sentence which really didn't fit in.

Gabi From Dd wrote:
Hello Luschen

thank you for your response. It's great that you help us to write a good memo. I think I must try it sometimes.
I have re-written the memo. Can you please check this version?

To: All Supervisors
From: Gabriele Gagell, Managing Assistant
Subject: Lunch
Date: 17 January 2012

You all know that our restaurant and leisure area will be closed next Monday for two weeks. These rooms will be redecorated and we will get a new kitchen.

Until then our employees can use the canteen from{I think "for" or "at" would be better prepositions here} the bakery company next to us. But not all workers can have lunch at the same time, so we should organize a rota system with 3 groups.

The lunchtime break for each rotation of workers takes 30 minutes and begins at 11.30 a.m. with the first group. After an interval of half an hour the next group will follow.

Please keep this in mind, and stick to this system and inform your workers. Ensure that no unnecessary time is spent away from the workplace [during this temporary disruption]. It may be possible for this short time.

Please give me a status report by this Friday [on how the new system is working].
Luschen
I'm a Communicator ;-)


Joined: 08 Apr 2011
Posts: 2135
Location: Nashville TN, USA

LCCI EfB, task 2 (canteen memo) #13 (permalink) Fri Jan 20, 2012 9:54 am   LCCI EfB, task 2 (canteen memo)
 

Hello Luschen

thank you for your good review but Torsten helped me with the fallowing sentences: Please keep this in mind, and stick to this system and inform your workers.
Unfortunately I couldn´t answer yesterday, our system was out of order.

With kind regards
Gabi
Gagelle
I'm new here and I like it ;-)


Joined: 10 Jan 2012
Posts: 26

LCCI EfB, task 2 (canteen memo) #14 (permalink) Fri Jan 20, 2012 13:53 pm   LCCI EfB, task 2 (canteen memo)
 

Gabi From Dd wrote:
Hello Luschen

thank you for your good review but Torsten helped me with the fallowing sentences: Please keep this in mind, and stick to this system and inform your workers.
Unfortunately I couldn´t answer yesterday, our system was out of order.

With kind regards
Gabi


Hi Gabi, the sentence Torsten helped you with is indeed grammatically correct. I just personally thought it sounded better - "less stringy" - with my revision. I am sorry, I will try to make it more clear in the future what I consider true grammatical errors vs. my personal preference as to what would sound better.
Luschen
I'm a Communicator ;-)


Joined: 08 Apr 2011
Posts: 2135
Location: Nashville TN, USA

EFB level 2 task 2 #15 (permalink) Mon Apr 16, 2012 18:31 pm   EFB level 2 task 2
 

To : All Supervisors
From : A Candidate
Subject: Re-decorating of the restaurant at our factory caused temporary changes
Date : 16.04.12

Our factory's restaurant and leisure are about to be closed, because of it's decorating and instalation of new equipments.
Be advised, that according to the agreement with our neighboring company, we can use it's canteen. Nevertheless, there are some changes of usual lunch's arrangement:
1. The time for lunch will be expanded by 15 min.
2. We have to use rota system with a half hour for each of 3 groups
3. The lunchtime for first group starts at 11.30 a.m.
You are expected to notify your section, to create 3 groups and to check, that any extra time will be spent away from the workplace.
Please, report about your 3 groups till Monday.
AC
Volsu
New Member


Joined: 16 Apr 2012
Posts: 1

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